Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v.11

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v. 11
In the modern world, students should be a versatile person in order to achieve their goals. In this regard, although there is an opinion that academic institutions should only concentrate on the funding of libraries, others feel that learners’ physical activity is essential. Personally, I reckon that there is should be a balance between the funding of libraries and sport facilities. First of all, students should keep their shape fit in order to get the energy for their study. Therefore, it is widely known that less physical activity can lead to the deterioration of the students’ performances. To illustrate, many successful students are keen to do physical exercises, such as jogging and work out in the gym. Secondly, it can be beneficial for their health. That is to say, doing exercises can improve their well-being and academic success. Moreover, some students cannot attend the classes because of their poor health. A good illustration of this is unhealthy learners, because they are often forced to visit hospitals, instead of visiting schools and universities. On the other hand, equal distribution of the government budget for sport activities and libraries can be a financial burden. Therefore, the authorities can face with shortage of financial resources. To illustrate, many governors are not keen to fund libraries, because of its high prices for facilities. Secondly, the government should pay attention to the demand. It is widely accepted that libraries are not essential as sport facilities, because they are losing their role in the society. For example, many individuals are willing to get the information from the internet, instead of visiting libraries. In conclusion, although the idea of equal distribution of these two facilities can be beneficial for the individuals, providing them with necessary equipments can be challenging for the authorities.
In the modern world,
students
should be a versatile person in order to achieve their goals. In this regard, although there is an opinion that academic institutions should
only
concentrate on the funding of libraries, others feel that learners’ physical activity is essential.
Personally
, I reckon that there
is
should be a balance between the funding of libraries and sport facilities.

First of all
,
students
should
keep
their shape fit in order to
get
the energy for their study.
Therefore
, it is
widely
known that less physical activity can lead to the deterioration of the
students’
performances. To illustrate,
many
successful
students
are keen to do physical exercises, such as jogging and work out in the gym.
Secondly
, it can be beneficial for their health.
That is
to say, doing exercises can
improve
their well-being and academic success.
Moreover
,
some
students
cannot attend the classes
because
of their poor health. A
good
illustration of this is unhealthy learners,
because
they are
often
forced to visit hospitals,
instead
of visiting schools and universities.

On the other hand
, equal distribution of the
government
budget for sport activities and libraries can be a financial burden.
Therefore
, the authorities can face with shortage of financial resources. To illustrate,
many
governors are not keen to fund libraries,
because
of its high prices for facilities.
Secondly
, the
government
should pay attention to the demand. It is
widely
accepted
that libraries are not essential as sport facilities,
because
they are losing their role in the society.
For example
,
many
individuals are willing to
get
the information from the internet,
instead
of visiting libraries.

In conclusion
, although the
idea
of equal distribution of these two facilities can be beneficial for the individuals, providing them with necessary equipments can be challenging for the authorities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts