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In some country’s children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.2

In some country’s children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. 2
The regulations which a small schooler should follow has long been debated. In some parts of the Asian continent parents have a command on their children while in the western countries where the rules are liberal for the children and give more freedom at a younger age. A child is considered as the future generation. They should learn moral skills at an early age so that they are more conscious at a later part of life. If they are obedient to their elders, then they continue respecting their elders when they reach adulthood. The recent survey in Asian countries revealed that the present generation respect the elders a lot and keep their parents with them rather than sending them to old age homes. The western culture encourages kids to enjoy the freedom which they are granted at a younger stage of life. the kids are free to choose what they want to do with their life. The present generation are not taking care of their parents when they attain old age since the respect towards them must be sowed upon their hearts when they are small. A recent incident in New York caught the headlines where a school goer had filed a case against his own parents stating that he was molested for attaining lower grades in school. The future generations need the liberalism which is required to build their careers on their own. The moral skills cannot be learnt with much freedom and needs to be learnt in a strict manner. The rules of behavior should be learnt along with life skills under a supervised condition and after the basic skills are learnt then the child is free to learn whatever suits him.
The regulations which a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
schooler should follow has long
been debated
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the Asian continent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a command on their children while in the western countries where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are liberal for the children and give more freedom at a younger age.

A child
is considered
as the future generation. They should learn moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at an early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are more conscious at a later part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If they are obedient to their elders, then they continue respecting their elders when they reach adulthood. The recent survey in Asian countries revealed that the present generation respect the elders a lot and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with them
rather
than sending them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes.

The western culture encourages kids to enjoy the freedom which they
are granted
at a younger stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
kids are free to choose what they want to do with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The present generation are not taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they attain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age since the respect towards them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sowed
upon their hearts when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. A recent incident in New York caught the headlines where a school goer had filed a case against his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
stating that he
was molested
for attaining lower grades in school.

The future generations need the liberalism which
is required
to build their careers on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. The moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
with much freedom and needs to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
Consider replacing "in a strict manner" with the adverb for "strict"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a strict manner
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of behavior should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
under a supervised condition and after the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
then the child is free to learn whatever suits him.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some country’s children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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