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You recently rented a car, but were not satisfied with it. WRITE a complaint letter to the rental agency. In your letterINTRODUCE yourself. EXPLAIN what went wrong with the car you rented. ASK for some form of compensation. v.1

You recently rented a car, but were not satisfied with it. WRITE a complaint letter to the rental agency. In your letterINTRODUCE yourself. EXPLAIN what went wrong with the car you rented. ASK for some form of compensation. v. 1
Recent global statistics have shown that the average age of individuals who engage in crime has dropped. This means that more young adults and adolescents are involved in crimes in the recent years, than ever before. Why is this so? Most importantly, what can be done to fix this impending time bomb? This essay will address the reasons behind this problem, including ineffective monitoring of children and lack of counsellors. This essay will also suggest ways by which this problem can be fixed, including effective parental advice and provision of counsellors. In my opinion, the two main causes of teenage crimes today are lack of parental monitoring and absence of counsellors. The average parent in the society also doubles as the child's adviser. Many times, the guardians have to juggle between work and home schedules, leaving the kids with little or no guidance. As a result of this, the kids can afford to engage in criminal activities without the knowledge of their parents. For example, a study at Harvard showed that children with two working parents are 30% more likely to engage in criminal activities and end up in juvenile homes, than kids with one working parent. Effective parental guidance and provision of counselling units are ways by which the teenagers of the society can be prevented from going astray. It is understandable that parents have to work; however, they should be able to maintain a work-home balance which will not affect the upbringing of the children. By deliberately creating more time, the children are well monitored. In addition, the government should provide extra counsellor in schools and educational institutions where students can walk in freely for counselling. This method has proven to be effective in some countries. For instance, a reduction in crime was recorded in Finland, following the government's provision of a guidance and counselling department in each school. Hence, I believe creating sufficient time for parenting and providing an advice unit in institutes is a step in the right direction towards curbing this problem. In summary, recent reports have shown that adolescents are getting involved in crime. This write-up discussed the reasons behind this development. Furthermore, this write-up recommended ways this negative development can be reversed gradually.
Recent global statistics have shown that the average age of individuals who engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has dropped. This means that more young adults and adolescents
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the recent years, than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Why is this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
? Most
importantly
, what can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this impending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
bomb? This essay will address the reasons behind this problem, including ineffective monitoring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and lack of
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellors' is British English.
counsellors
. This essay will
also
suggest ways by which this problem can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
, including effective parental advice and provision of
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellors' is British English.
counsellors
.

In my opinion, the two main causes of teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are lack of parental monitoring and absence of
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellors' is British English.
counsellors
. The average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in the society
also
doubles as the child's adviser.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the guardians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
juggle between work and home schedules, leaving the kids with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no guidance.
As a result
of this, the kids can afford to engage in criminal activities without the knowledge of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, a study at Harvard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with two working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are 30% more likely to engage in criminal activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in juvenile homes, than kids with one working parent.

Effective parental guidance and provision of counselling units are ways by which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
of the society can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from going astray. It is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work;
however
, they should be able to maintain a work-home balance which will not affect the upbringing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. By
deliberately
creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are well monitored.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide extra
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellor' is British English.
counsellor
in schools and educational institutions where students can walk in
freely
for counselling. This method has proven to be effective in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
For instance
, a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was recorded
in Finland, following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's provision of a guidance and counselling department in each school.
Hence
, I believe creating sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for parenting and providing an advice unit in institutes is a step in the right direction towards curbing this problem.

In summary, recent reports have shown that adolescents are getting involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This write-up discussed the reasons behind this development.
Furthermore
, this write-up recommended ways this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development can
be reversed
gradually
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You recently rented a car, but were not satisfied with it. WRITE a complaint letter to the rental agency. In your letterINTRODUCE yourself. EXPLAIN what went wrong with the car you rented. ASK for some form of compensation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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