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You and your family are living in a rented accommodation in an English speaking country. you are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. I your letter- introduce yourself- explain what is wrong with the fu v.1

You and your family are living in a rented accommodation in an English speaking country. you are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. I your letter- introduce yourself- explain what is wrong with the fu v. 1
To introduce, Although there are many benefits of getting educated in abroad institutions, the candidates must be ready to start living without their family. Even though there were merits for these immigrants, they still have some negatives. Despite of learning individuality, as well as, gaining more concentration on studies, other factors such as homesickness and lack of family base are the major consequences, which will be discussed below. On the first, While there are few cons of schooling in other places, we also have the merits of this situation for graduation studies at abroad. It is important to point out is that the graduate could be able to learn how to be unique, and also mandatory to note that the candidate will be able to focus on their work. First of all it is clear that the person will try to learn to be alone, and take his own decisions to be successful in his life. The student would be able to concentrate more on his studies, so he might have more success; however, they may do it even if his family is with him. These advantages mentioned here seems convincing, but we have to ponder the other point of view. Despite the positives, Secondly, we must also note that there were a few demerits in getting educated without their family guiding, and they will be discussed here. First of all, it is clear that the homesick and family support play a vital role in this condition, so the student might be affected due to not having these advantages. Even though the post-graduate would be able to develop self-esteem, they might face the illness of not having their people along; for example, unable to share their important moments. Meanwhile, there would be no greater guide, and therefore the candidate might feel more unhappy. These points show why we always must have family with us. In conclusion, Though the higher education has various uses, the main problem that the people might face was not being with their family. There were equal advantages, and disadvantages for the above circumstances, so the person must choose their decision in a wise manner.
To introduce, Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of getting educated in abroad institutions, the candidates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Even though
there were merits for these immigrants, they
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
learning individuality,
as well
as, gaining more concentration on studies, other factors such as homesickness and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
base are the major consequences, which will
be discussed
below.

On the
first
, While there are few cons of schooling in other places, we
also
have the merits of this situation for graduation studies at abroad. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to point out is that the graduate could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to learn how to be unique, and
also
mandatory to note that the candidate will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to focus on their work.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the person will try to learn to be alone, and take his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions to be successful in his life. The student would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to concentrate more on his studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have more success;
however
, they may do it even if his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is with him. These advantages mentioned here seems convincing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ponder the other point of view.

Despite the positives,
Secondly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
note that there were a few demerits in getting educated without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
guiding, and they will
be discussed
here.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the homesick and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support play a vital role in this condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to not having these advantages.
Even though
the post-graduate would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to develop self-esteem, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face the illness of not having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
along;
for example
, unable to share their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
moments. Meanwhile, there would be no greater guide, and
therefore
the candidate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
feel more unhappy. These points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why we always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with us.

In conclusion
, Though the higher education has various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, the main problem that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face was not being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There were equal advantages, and disadvantages for the above circumstances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose their decision
Consider replacing "in a wise manner" with the adverb for "wise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a wise manner
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You and your family are living in a rented accommodation in an English speaking country. you are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. I your letter- introduce yourself- explain what is wrong with the fu v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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