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You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to v.1

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to v. 1
There has been a wide divergence of opinion on which subject, History or Science and Technology, is of utmost importance in today’s education. While some opine that History should be mandatory, I hold that practical subjects related to Science and Technology are more necessary in our evolving world. The main reason why students should study History at school is that not only does this subject teach them what their forefathers experienced and suffered in the past to make their countries what they are today, it also helps people know their own culture and the evolution of societies. Moreover, learning about the past often gives a glimpse of the future. To illustrate, the past world wars were the most devastating life incidents. Children need to be educated about these crucial events so that they will be well aware of the consequences and hopefully avoid any of such situations in the future. Although History should still be taught, Science and Technology should be prioritised because these are more likely to have an impact on a person’s future career. Very few students are projected to end up with careers in History, as historians or professors, but a large percentage will work in such fields as Business or Technology. For example, in Vietnam, the most popular university majors are engineering, finance, and graphic design. Evidently, these majors might give students a head start in their prospective careers and increase their chances of having a higher standard of living, thereby promoting the economic growth of a country. For the foregoing discussions, I would reiterate that school administrators should not remove History from the curriculum, but they should devote more time and resources to the teaching of practical subjects to meet the needs of the future job market.
There has been a wide divergence of opinion on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
or Science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
, is of utmost importance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s education. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
should be mandatory, I hold that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to Science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are more necessary in our evolving world.

The main reason why students should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
at school is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
teach them what their forefathers experienced and suffered in the past to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their countries what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and the evolution of societies.
Moreover
, learning about the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
gives a glimpse of the future. To illustrate, the past world wars were the most devastating life incidents. Children need to
be educated
about these crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be well aware of the consequences and
hopefully
avoid any of such situations in the future.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
should
still
be taught
, Science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are more likely to have an impact on a person’s future career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few students
are projected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, as historians or professors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a large percentage will work in such fields as Business or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
.
For example
, in Vietnam, the most popular university majors are engineering, finance, and graphic design.
Evidently
, these majors might give students a head
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in their prospective careers and increase their chances of having a higher standard of living, thereby promoting the economic growth of a country.

For the foregoing discussions, I would reiterate that school administrators should not remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
from the curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should devote more time and resources to the teaching of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of the future job market.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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