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in some countries, number of people who visit the art gallerias are declining. what are the reasons for that? how can we solve this problem? v.1

in some countries, number of people who visit the art gallerias are declining. what are the reasons for that? how can we solve this problem? v. 1
The number of visitors in the art galleries of some countries has decreased in the recent years. The declining number of people is due to the some costly tickets and low advertisement from the marketing team. There are several solutions that could be implemented by the government. One of the main reasons people stop coming to art galleries because of the overprice tickets and lack of awareness and knowledge about the galleries. In other words, citizens do not have a full understanding about the value of art, due to the lack of advertisements and explanations, will find it unworthy to visit. For instance, one of my courses in university require each student to visit art galleries. However, after going inside the gallery, the majority of my friends agree about the expensive tickets and how it is not worth of just a sightseeing. That's why, the expensive tickets have caused people to stop taking art galleries as the main consideration for spending time. The best solution is either to promote each product or by reducing the price of ticket. More than half of the population do not understand the beauty of art and only see it as a beautiful object to see. As a result, people who do not appreciate art productions will find the cost for each visit is expensive. Not only advertisement and promotion will give an adequate knowledge for people to stop complaining about the overprice ticket but also will increase people's enthusiasm to come. Thus, it is important for the marketing team to give some explanation about the products inside the gallerias or by decreasing the price ticket. In conclusion, in order to gain more visitors, art galleries need to promote more about art, so people will find satisfaction after coming out of the gallerias. If people without sufficient knowledge of art visit the galleries, there will be a lot of complaints about the expensive ticket and how it is not worth peoples time and money.
The number of visitors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries has decreased in the recent years. The declining number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is due to the
Did you mean "same"?
some
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
and low advertisement from the marketing team. There are several solutions that could
be implemented
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

One of the main reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'overprice' is correct. If 'overprice' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the overprice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
and lack of awareness and knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
.
In other words
, citizens do not have a full understanding about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, due to the lack of advertisements and explanations, will find it unworthy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
For instance
, one of my courses in university require each student to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
.
However
, after going inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
, the majority of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
and how it is not worth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a sightseeing. That's why, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
have caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
as the main consideration for spending time.

The best solution is either to promote each product or by reducing the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
. More than half of the population do not understand the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
object to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
productions will find the cost for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advertisement and promotion will give an adequate knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
complaining about
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'overprice' is correct. If 'overprice' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the overprice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's enthusiasm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the marketing team to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanation about the products inside the gallerias or by decreasing the price ticket.

In conclusion
, in order to gain more visitors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
need to promote more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find satisfaction after coming out of the gallerias. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without sufficient knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
complaints about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
and how it is not worth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
time and money.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay in some countries, number of people who visit the art gallerias are declining. what are the reasons for that? how can we solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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