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You need to travel from your home to a place 64 kilometers away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. v.1

You need to travel from your home to a place 64 kilometers away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. v. 1
Undoubtedly, all people search for exhilaration. Not all of us consider that being happy is just a personal decision; others argue that other factors may determine our impressions. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view. From one side, some have the perception that happiness depends on a person’s state of mind and heart, and every person must have the ability to take control of one’s emotions. For instance, while a group of people is in the same situation, each of them has a different impression. There are also many ways, like self-help books, yoga, institutes preach, and meditation, to help in controlling yourself. As a result, a person can maintain good mental health and peace. Accordingly, happiness, according to this thinking, is all about inner satisfaction, and through practices like meditation and yoga, it can be achieved. On the other side, there are many factors that can change a person’s mood. Firstly, when people can meet their fundamental requirements sufficiently and have some means of entertainment and relaxation, they can claim their pleasure. Secondly, people with good businesses have more prosperous lives than other ordinary citizens. Additionally, health is a pivotal constituent of a happy life. This is not surprising that a healthy person enjoys a lucrative lifestyle and has more tendencies to participate in diverse activities that could be a source of joy for him. Besides, healthy relations among relevant make people happier; for example, children feel more happiness while playing with their friends or when they received toys, which not even worth a lot of money. Having studied both sides, I do like to say that despite happiness is cognate to yourself, other surrounding factors directly modify our feelings. Wealthy, healthy, being in good relations among relevant and other factors can make you happier than others.
Undoubtedly
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
search for exhilaration. Not all of us consider that being happy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a personal decision; others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
may determine our impressions. In this essay, I will discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the latter view.

From one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have the perception that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
depends on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
state of mind and heart, and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the ability to take control of one’s emotions.
For instance
, while a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is in the same situation, each of them has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
impression. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, like self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
books, yoga, institutes preach, and meditation, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in controlling yourself.
As a result
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental health and peace.
Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, according to this thinking, is all about inner satisfaction, and through practices like meditation and yoga, it can
be achieved
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
mood.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their fundamental requirements
sufficiently
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
means of entertainment and relaxation, they can claim their pleasure.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
businesses have more prosperous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ordinary citizens.
Additionally
, health is a pivotal constituent of a happy life. This is not surprising that a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
enjoys a lucrative lifestyle and has more tendencies to participate in diverse activities that could be a source of joy for him.
Besides
, healthy relations among relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier;
for example
, children feel more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
while playing with their friends or when they received toys, which not even worth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

Having studied both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
, I do like to say that despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is cognate to yourself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
directly
modify our feelings. Wealthy, healthy, being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations among relevant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happier than others.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You need to travel from your home to a place 64 kilometers away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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