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You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64kilometers) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice. v.1

You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64kilometers) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice. v. 1
It is argued that whether children should be granted the freedom to make their own decisions or not. Although I agree that they have the right to have options at times, I do not believe that children should decide on their own. On the one hand, children should absolutely be able to make up their minds in certain matters. The first reason is that having independence in their decisions would foster a sense of fulfillment which will result in the cultivation of happiness. For example, by letting a child choose his/her own birthday present, they will feel joyful and satisfied and appreciate their parents more. Secondly, children will also learn to perceive and deal with their mistakes from making their own choices. Consequently, they will grow up taking matters with serious considerations. On the other hand, the danger of permitting children to determine from a young age must not be underestimated. Children’s minds are often not fully developed and they do not possess the knowledge and experience to decide what is best for them. Take choosing a high school, for instance, it is an important choice that will affect a child’s whole life to some extent and the decisions should be of parents or guardians to make. Another factor is that giving children too much flexibility can lead to ignorance of others’ feelings and benefits. Such children would become selfish and self-centered entering adulthoods affecting society as a whole. In conclusion, the idea that it is vital for children to make their own choices remains a source of controversy. In my opinion, while children taking matters into their own hands can have some benefits, I would argue that such freedom should only be granted in certain scenarios.
It
is argued
that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be granted
the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions or not. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have the right to have options at times, I do not believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
absolutely
be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up their minds in certain matters. The
first
reason is that having independence in their decisions would foster a sense of fulfillment which will result in the cultivation of happiness.
For example
, by letting a child choose his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
birthday present, they will feel joyful and satisfied and appreciate their parents more.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
also
learn to perceive and deal with their mistakes from making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.
Consequently
, they will grow up taking matters with serious considerations.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of permitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to determine from a young age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be underestimated
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
minds are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
fully
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
developed and
they do not possess the knowledge and experience to decide what is best for them. Take choosing a high school,
for instance
, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
choice that will affect a child’s whole life to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and the decisions should be of parents or guardians to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
. Another factor is that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too much flexibility can lead to ignorance of others’ feelings and benefits. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become selfish and self-centered entering
Possible spelling mistake found.
adulthoods
affecting society as a whole.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices remains a source of controversy. In my opinion, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
taking matters into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I would argue that such freedom should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be granted
in certain scenarios.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64kilometers) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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