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You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v.1

You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 1
Nowadays, robotics and information technology are gradually replacing humans in many applications and industries. According to some people, this evolution will bring so many benefits. However, other people may have some concerns that we are not ready for a world in which robotics dominate humanity. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion that those have more positive influence on human lives. On the one hand, people have a valid concern that their jobs will be put in serious conditions when more and more factories are using robots or information systems to replace workforces. We have had experience to witness the vast/enormous development in industries all over the world where many labourers were replaced by robots or computer systems. Those obviously can work much more effectively and save more operation costs for companies than man powers do. This leads to joblessness (or redundancy) in many factories or offices, and more and more workers are laid off. On the other hand, lives have been more joyful than ever before, thanks to the development of technology and artificial intelligence. For a long period of time, people have enjoyed a better life due to the present of clever gadgets/appliances such as robot cleaners, or smart home devices which have helped people save a lot of time for household chores. In addition, the developments in automotive industries, by applying information technology such as pilot driving or driving assistance systems, have meant that people are safer when driving on roads. In conclusion, there are some potential risks of job redundancy because of the development of artificial intelligence when computer-based technologies can replace humans. Despite this anxiety, I still see the positive impact that it can have on us and assist in making our lives more enjoyable.
Nowadays, robotics and information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
gradually
replacing humans in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications and industries. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this evolution will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns that we are not ready for a world in which robotics dominate humanity. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion that those have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a valid concern that their jobs will
be put
in serious conditions when more and more factories are using robots or information systems to replace
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
. We have had experience to witness the vast/enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in industries all over the world where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
were replaced
by robots or computer systems. Those
obviously
can work much more
effectively
and save more operation costs for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
powers do. This leads to joblessness (or redundancy) in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories or offices, and more and more workers
are laid
off.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have been more joyful than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and artificial intelligence. For a long period of time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have enjoyed a better life due to the present of clever gadgets/appliances such as robot cleaners, or smart home devices which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for household chores.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
in automotive industries, by applying information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as pilot driving or driving assistance systems, have meant that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are safer when driving on roads.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of job redundancy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of artificial intelligence when computer-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can replace humans. Despite this anxiety, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact that it can have on us and assist in making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more enjoyable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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