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There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently Write a letter to the management of the public transport company In your letter describe the problems explain how these problems are affecting the public suggest some changes t v.1

There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently Write a letter to the management of the public transport company In your letter describe the problems explain how these problems are affecting the public suggest some changes t v. 1
In these days, mothers and fathers force their children to achieve more in their life. In my opinion, this affect to kids negatively. However, it has some advantages like earning more prizes at the early age. In this essay Firstly, on the positive side, children learn how hard is success and what does winning mean, because of the pressure. Thus, they work harder than their peers to achieve it. Furthermore, they become more successful among their peers. For instance, kids with ambitious parents are more likely to work because of their fear about their families. Hence, this makes them more successful. However, it has some hazardous effects. Some people think that putting pressure on youths affects them badly. To illustrate, if we compare two children, we will clearly see that the child with calm ancestors are less successful but their ideas are more creative and efficient. Thanks to their relax parents, they find much more time to think and create different things. In my opinion, self-improvement is extremely important. For me, the most crucial thing is self-improvement, such as playing piano, reading books, building body. Because these improvements and skills will always be with you, but academical studies just help you to graduate from better university. Moreover, forcing children might disrupt their psychology. To sum up, ancestors play an important role on their sons and daughters. Adults have to change their habits and behaviours to lead their children for a better future. I recommend that adults has to be calm and they shouldn't force their children to success.
In these days, mothers and fathers force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to achieve more in their life. In my opinion, this affect to kids
negatively
.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages like earning more prizes at the early age. In this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
essay


Firstly
, on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is success and what does winning mean,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the pressure.
Thus
, they work harder than their peers to achieve it.
Furthermore
, they become more successful among their peers.
For instance
, kids with ambitious parents are more likely to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their fear about their families.
Hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more successful.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hazardous effects.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that putting pressure on youths affects them
badly
. To illustrate, if we compare two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, we will
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the child with calm ancestors are less successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are more creative and efficient. Thanks to their relax parents, they find much more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things. In my opinion, self-improvement is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. For me, the most crucial thing is self-improvement, such as playing piano, reading books, building body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these improvements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will always be with you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
academical studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to graduate from better university.
Moreover
, forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might disrupt their psychology.

To sum up, ancestors play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on their sons and daughters. Adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habits and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for a better future. I recommend that adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
calm and
they shouldn't force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently Write a letter to the management of the public transport company In your letter describe the problems explain how these problems are affecting the public suggest some changes t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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