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You live in a rented accommodation which was recently damaged due to the bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain what caused the damage - why do you need them to fix the problem right away? - what needs to be d v.1

You live in a rented accommodation which was recently damaged due to the bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain what caused the damage - why do you need them to fix the problem right away? - what needs to be d v. 1
People's social, personal and financial success is highly influenced by their cooperation experience. With this regards, I believe that it is better to work as a team than as an individual to succeed for two following reasons: it enables people to broaden perspectives, and it strengthens competitiveness in the society. Firstly, working as a team allows people to develop their cooperating skills. Working as a team opens up more opportunities to talk and interact with other people, divide necessary works, and also enables to collaborate with each other as a team. Through socializing with others, you get to encounter other cultures and traditions that may be unfamiliar to you. For example, when I was working with an American friend for a project, I learned various things that were different from me such as working style and communicating. This helped me to opened up my perspectives and thoughts. To sum up, working as a team leads you to broaden perspectives. Next, working as a team strengthens competitiveness in the society. Last year, in the article "The Korean Herald", it was stated that 82% of people who had experience in working as a team were more competitive in the society. Some people said that working as a team taught them how to interact with other people. Moreover, several bosses that I had interviewed with have said that they prefer to hire people with more team working experience. This directly affects the competitiveness in the society. To conclude, these evidences show how working as a team leads to strengthening in social competitiveness, which ultimately leads to success. Lastly, working as a team and having team working experiences is a huge factor in success. In conclusion, working as a team than as an individual is better to succeed for two reasons that were mentioned above.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's social, personal and financial success is
highly
influenced by their cooperation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. With
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, I believe that it is better to work as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
than as an individual to succeed for two following reasons: it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to broaden perspectives, and it strengthens competitiveness in the society.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop their cooperating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
opens up more opportunities to talk and interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, divide necessary works, and
also
enables to collaborate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. Through socializing with others, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and traditions that may be unfamiliar to you.
For example
, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with an American friend for a project, I learned various things that were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from me such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style and communicating. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to opened up my perspectives and thoughts. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
leads you to broaden perspectives.

Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
strengthens competitiveness in the society. Last year, in the article
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Korean Herald
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, it
was stated
that 82% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
were more competitive in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
taught them how to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, several bosses that I had interviewed with have said that they prefer to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This
directly
affects the competitiveness in the society.
To conclude
, these evidences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
leads to strengthening in social competitiveness, which
ultimately
leads to success.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
is a huge factor in success.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
than as an individual is better to succeed for two reasons that
were mentioned
above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You live in a rented accommodation which was recently damaged due to the bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain what caused the damage - why do you need them to fix the problem right away? - what needs to be d v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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