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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.6

Question: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 6
There are some people claiming that reading books is better and offer more advantages than watching TV and playing computer games for offspring. From my personal perspective, I agree with this statement and will prove it in this essay. Although televisions and e-sports can help children with gaining knowledge in some ways, they bring a plethora of problems related to kids' academic performance and health. This is due to the fact that watching moving objects and colourful images on the screens can easily attract children and be addictive. When plugging into the screens, the offspring are distracted from other important tasks like studying and doing homework, so that they probably get low results at schools. Additionally, spending too much time before a computer screen or watching TV can lead to health problems such as shortsightedness. On the other hand, learning by reading is more effective compared to TV and games because it boosts children's attention, imaginary and vocabulary. Like any other skill, reading takes practice. To fully understand the content, children have to give all their attention to the text. Also, more than just understanding a certain topic, children tend to develop imagination, as they imagine the characters from the description they read, which helps them to learn more efficiently and deeply in the future. Furthermore, reading stories also helps children master language development, as by reading stories, children learn pronunciation and vocabulary. It develops children’s ability to express themselves more confidently, easily, and clearly in spoken and written terms. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that reading stories in books is better than watching TV and playing on computers, as it is a more effective way to learn and is better for health.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books is better and offer more advantages than watching TV and playing computer games for offspring. From my personal perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and will prove it in this essay.

Although televisions and e-sports can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with gaining knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, they bring a plethora of problems related to kids' academic performance and health.
This is due to the fact that
watching moving objects and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
images on the screens can
easily
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and be addictive. When plugging into the screens, the offspring
are distracted
from other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks like studying and doing homework,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low results at schools.
Additionally
, spending too much time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a computer screen or watching TV can lead to health problems such as shortsightedness.

On the other hand
, learning by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is more effective compared to TV and games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it boosts children's attention, imaginary and vocabulary. Like any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
takes practice. To
fully
understand the content,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give all their attention to the text.
Also
, more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
understanding a certain topic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to develop imagination, as they imagine the characters from the description they read, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn more
efficiently
and
deeply
in the future.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
master language development, as by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn pronunciation and vocabulary. It develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
ability to express themselves more
confidently
,
easily
, and
clearly
in spoken and written terms.

In conclusion
, it can
be reiterated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories in books is better than watching TV and playing on computers, as it is a more effective way to learn and is better for health.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Question: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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