Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have to submit the project for your university and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for thisWrite a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment in your letter v.1

You have to submit the project for your university and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for thisWrite a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment in your letter v. 1
What is the best choice for the students when they finish high school? Teenagers are facing the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university. On the one hand, there are many sufficient reasons why some people assume that seeking a job after they finished school is better for their career in the future. First and foremost, many young people desire to earn money as soon as possible. In this way, it is possible for them to support their family financially, and they are able to afford their own house or the car at an early age. Additionally, they are more likely to get more invaluable experience in real life. In other words, the earlier they get to work, the deeper their insight on the job becomes. Hence, that we find a job after high school proves a good way to be successful in their career. they can support their family spiritually Despite the above arguments, I would suppose that proceeding to university or college is the best way for us to become accomplished. Primarily, academic qualifications are required in many professions. In evidence, hardly do we work as a doctor, a teacher or a lawyer without obtaining the relevant degree. Furthermore, Higher qualification increases competitiveness when we apply for jobs. In reality, sometimes there are hundreds of applications for one position in a company. Therefore, improving educational attainment should be the first choice of the majority of students. In conclusion, although it might seem sensible for some people to get an early contract helping young people’s career more successful, I personally prefer that improving knowledge and accessing to Universities or colleges be the best way to constitute great achievement. I hold a belief that knowledge rather than money is an invaluable asset that enables us to succeed more substantially.
What is the best choice for the students when they finish high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are facing the dilemma of whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or continue their education. While there are benefits to getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
straight after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sufficient reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that seeking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after they finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is better for their career in the future.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to earn money as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In this way, it is possible for them to support their family
financially
, and they are able to afford their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or the car at an early age.
Additionally
, they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more invaluable experience in real life.
In other words
, the earlier they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work, the deeper their insight on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
becomes.
Hence
, that we find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
proves a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to be successful in their career.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can support their family
spiritually


Despite the above arguments, I would suppose that proceeding to university or college is the best way for us to become accomplished.
Primarily
, academic qualifications
are required
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions. In evidence, hardly do we work as a doctor, a teacher or a lawyer without obtaining the relevant degree.
Furthermore
, Higher qualification increases competitiveness when we apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In reality,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there are hundreds of applications for one position in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Therefore
, improving educational attainment should be the
first
choice of the majority of students.

In conclusion
, although it might seem sensible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an early contract helping young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
career more successful, I
personally
prefer that improving knowledge and accessing to Universities or colleges be the best way to constitute great achievement. I hold a belief that knowledge
rather
than money is an invaluable asset that enables us to succeed more
substantially
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have to submit the project for your university and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for thisWrite a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment in your letter v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts