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You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and detailsto explain your choice. v.5

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and detailsto explain your choice. v. 5
A lot of people love to travel new countries or regions. I personally like travelling and if I have the Chance to travel overseas for two weeks. I would like to visit China, which is located in the northern part of Asia region. In this essay, I will portray in details the reason, why I choose China as my main destination point. To begin with, it is a fact that China is well known for its civilisation and there are lots of historical places that I must visit. Predominantly, I would like to visit the Great Wall of China, which is included in the seven wonders of the world. It was the longest wall that was ever made by human being. Many tourist traveled to China, to see that wall and it was said that astronauts could see the wall with a naked eye from the shuttle space ship. Moreover, I will visit the Tian An Men Square, which is located in the capital city of China, Beijing. The square is a place, where most of the Emperor of China had lived until the communist party took over the country in 1960. There are ancient buildings contain lots of historical values, therefore I must visit these places. Besides the historical places, there are other things that visitors could do in China. There are lots of beautiful landscapes in the country, such as mountains, hills and valleys, which are well known for their purity and originality. Apart from this, China is well known as its unique and exotic animal, Panda. Panda is a part of bear family, but the animal has unique in a colour and it can only be found in China. To recapitulate, if I have the opportunity to visit a new country for fourteen days, I would definitely visit China. There are lots of things that visitors could do such as visiting the historical places, and seeing the animals and beautiful landscapes of the country.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or regions. I
personally
like travelling and if I have the Chance to travel overseas for two weeks. I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
China, which
is located
in the northern part of Asia region. In this essay, I will portray in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
the reason, why I choose China as my main destination point.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a fact that China is well known for its
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
Predominantly
, I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the Great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wall
of China, which
is included
in the seven wonders of the world. It was the longest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wall
that was ever made by human being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
tourist traveled to China, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wall
and it
was said
that astronauts could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wall
with a naked eye from the shuttle space ship.
Moreover
, I will
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visit
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tian
An
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
Square, which
is located
in the capital city of China, Beijing. The square is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, where most of the Emperor of China had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
until the communist party took over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in 1960. There are ancient buildings contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
values,
therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these places.

Besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, there are other things that visitors could do in China. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as mountains, hills and valleys, which are well known for their purity and originality. Apart from this, China is well known as its unique and exotic animal, Panda. Panda is a part of bear family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the animal has unique in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in China.

To recapitulate, if I have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for fourteen days, I would definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
China. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of things that visitors could do such as visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, and seeing the animals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and detailsto explain your choice. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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