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You have the opportunity to visit a foregn country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use spesiifc reasons and details to explain your choice. v.1

You have the opportunity to visit a foregn country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use spesiifc reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1
Our planet is so huge and diverse, and there are a lot of countries I would like to visit. If I have a chance to visit a foreign country for two weeks, I definitely will choose Greece. There are a few reasons why I feel this way. First of all, Greece is one of the most ancient country in the world, and has tremendous amount of historical places to look at. Greece consists of a few islands and all of them have their own story. From the time of beginning history classes in school I was told a myriad of stories about gods of ancient Greece by my history teacher, read variety of books, and watched scores of documentary films on the same topic. I always found it very interesting and was fascinated by Greece. To that end, if I have a chance to go to Greece, I will have an opportunity to see all I heard at school in real life. Secondly, Greece is well known with its famous beaches and warm water in sea. Getting in touch with the nature is a great way to spend time during the vacation. For example, I like swimming and diving. The place where I am living now lacks of sea or ocean nearby. Therefore, the only way for me to dive is a membership in a local diving club, where pool`s bottom imitates sea`s bottom. This way, Greece is a perfect country for me to go to enjoy diving in a real sea environment. Finally, one of my school teachers lives in Greece now. It would be great to see her after so many years of graduation. To the point, she is the teacher, who fascinated me with this astonishing country by narrating fabulous stories about heroes of ancient Greece in the history class. She went to this country as an archeologist to study ruins of old world, and eventually settled in there. So, traveling to Greece would let me to hug a favorite teacher and have the best guide to explore the country. To sum it up, I feel that if I have an opportunity to travel to a foreign country, I will go Greece. This is because, Greece is appealing for me from the historical point of view, it is a marvelous place to practice in diving, and I would have a chance to visit the favorite school teacher. All things considered, it seems reasonable to assume that there is no better country to visit for me than Greece.
Our planet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
huge and diverse, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
. If I have a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for two weeks, I definitely will choose Greece. There are a few reasons why I feel this way.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Greece is one of the most ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world, and has tremendous amount of historical places to look at. Greece consists of a few islands and all of them have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
story. From the time of beginning history classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
a myriad of stories about gods of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
ancient Greece
by my history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, read variety of books, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
scores of documentary films on the same topic. I always found it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting and
was fascinated
by Greece. To that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, if I have a chance to go to Greece, I will have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all I heard at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in real life.

Secondly
, Greece is well known with its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
beaches and warm water in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
. Getting in touch with the nature is a great way to spend time during the vacation.
For example
, I like swimming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diving
. The place where I am living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
lacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
or ocean nearby.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for me to dive is a membership in a local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diving
club, where
The character between 'pool' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "pool’s" (curly apostrophe) or "pool's" (straight apostrophe).
pool`s
bottom imitates
The character between 'sea' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "sea’s" (curly apostrophe) or "sea's" (straight apostrophe).
sea`s
bottom. This way, Greece is a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for me to go to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diving
in a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
environment.

Finally
, one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It would be great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
her after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of graduation. To the point, she is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, who fascinated me with this astonishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by narrating fabulous stories about heroes of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
ancient Greece
in the history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. She went to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as an archeologist to study ruins of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
world, and
eventually
settled in there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, traveling to Greece would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me to hug a favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and have the best guide to explore the country.

To sum it up, I feel that if I have an opportunity to travel to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I will go Greece. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, Greece is appealing for me from the historical point of view, it is a marvelous place to practice in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diving
, and I would have a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. All things considered, it seems reasonable to assume that there is no better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
for me than Greece.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay You have the opportunity to visit a foregn country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use spesiifc reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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