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You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? v.3

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? v. 3
A lot of people love to travel to new countries or regions. I personally like travelling, and if I have the chance to travel overseas for two weeks, I would like to visit China, which is located in the northern part of Asia region. The following essay will explain in details the reason why I choose China as my main destination point. To begin with, it is a fact that China is well known for its civilisation, and there are a lot of historical places that I must visit. Firstly, I would definitely visit the Great Wall of China, which is included in the Seven Wonders of the World. It was the longest wall that was ever made by human being, and it was said that astronauts could see the wall with a naked eye from the shuttle space ship. Secondly, I will visit the Tian An Men Square, which is located in the capital city of China or Beijing. The square is a palace where most of the emperor of China had lived until the communist party took over the country in 1960. These ancient buildings contain a lot of historical values; therefore I must visit these places. Besides the historical places, there are other things that visitors could do in China. There are a lot of beautiful landscapes in the country, such as mountains, hills and valleys which are well known for their purity and originality. And then, China is well known for its unique and exotic animal, Panda. Panda is a part of the bear family, but the animal has a unique colour and it can only be found in China. Furthermore, the country is also famous for its culinary. There are various types of food in China, from the spicy ones until the extreme type such cockroaches or spiders. Therefore, there are many activities that tourists can do, while they visit the country. In conclusion, if I have the opportunity to visit a new country for fourteen days, I would visit China. There are a lot of things that visitors could do there, from visiting the historical places, seeing the unique animal and enjoying some of the beautiful scenery places.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or regions. I
personally
like travelling, and if I have the chance to travel overseas for two weeks, I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
China, which
is located
in the northern part of Asia region. The following essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
the reason why I choose China as my main destination point.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a fact that China is well known for its
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
, and there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
Firstly
, I would definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the Great Wall of China, which
is included
in the Seven Wonders of the World. It was the longest wall that was ever made by human being, and it
was said
that astronauts could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the wall with a naked eye from the shuttle space ship.
Secondly
, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tian
An
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
Square, which
is located
in the capital city of China or Beijing. The square is a palace where most of the emperor of China had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
until the communist party took over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in 1960. These ancient buildings contain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
values;
therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these places.

Besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, there are other things that visitors could do in China. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as mountains, hills and valleys which are well known for their purity and originality. And then, China is well known for its unique and exotic animal, Panda. Panda is a part of the bear family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the animal has a unique
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in China.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its culinary. There are various types of food in China, from the spicy ones until the extreme type such cockroaches or spiders.
Therefore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities that tourists can do, while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the country.

In conclusion
, if I have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for fourteen days, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
China. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things that visitors could do there, from visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, seeing the unique animal and enjoying
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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