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You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v.2

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 2
Nowadays there are many different obstacles and possible solutions that make a strong influence on kids. Some people think that friends play an important role for young adults while others believe that family influences the most on youngsters. Personally, I sure that immediate family plays a crucial role during younger ages for two reasons. Firstly, The major point is that parents help their children in life. It is undeniable that there are many problems at school as well as in personal life and development. The most vital aspects are studying and hobbies because they form and define a human as a person. As a result, it is easy to notice that parents always want to do the best for their child and provide some assistance in a particular way. For instance, helping with homework may encourage a child to do it by himself and to be more confident in the future. Consequently, all problems a kid's face with his family, so it allows to become stronger by overcoming these obstacles. Secondly, knowledge and life experience are vital to the character. It is true that from parents' children discover the unknown world and build their attitudes and opinions about other things and people. Thus, this process defines their habits and passions. In this case good and noble relatives explain and show some basic habits such as brushing teeth twice a day and, in addition, they point out what is good and what is bad. Finally, small decisions become actions, actions become habits which make a kid’s way of life. To draw to conclusion, I am of the opinion that only relations between children and parents are underlying principles, because they strengthen characters and bring vital information.
Nowadays there are
many
different
obstacles and possible solutions that
make
a strong influence on kids.
Some
people
think
that friends play an
important
role for young adults while others believe that family influences the most on youngsters.
Personally
, I sure that immediate family plays a crucial role during younger ages for two reasons.

Firstly
, The major point is that parents
help
their children in life. It is undeniable that there are
many
problems at school
as well
as in personal life and development. The most vital aspects are studying and hobbies
because
they form and define a human as a person.
As a result
, it is easy to notice that parents always want to do the best for their child and provide
some
assistance in a particular way.
For instance
, helping with homework may encourage a child to do it by himself and to be more confident in the future.
Consequently
, all problems a kid's face with his family,
so
it
allows
to become
stronger by overcoming these obstacles.

Secondly
, knowledge and life experience are vital to the character. It is true that from parents' children discover the unknown world and build their attitudes and opinions about other things and
people
.
Thus
, this process defines their habits and passions.
In this case
good
and noble relatives
explain
and
show
some
basic habits such as brushing teeth twice a day and,
in addition
, they point out what is
good
and what is
bad
.
Finally
,
small
decisions become actions, actions become habits which
make
a kid’s way of life.

To draw to conclusion, I am of the opinion that
only
relations between children and parents are underlying principles,
because
they strengthen characters and bring vital information.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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