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you have seen an advertisment in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and loo after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letterexplain why you lie the job, give details why you be would be a su v.1

you have seen an advertisment in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and loo after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letterexplain why you lie the job, give details why you be would be a su v. 1
Now-a-days, people are eating a lot of junk foods that causing different well-being issues. From that prospective, a certain group of people suggested that, the government ought to increase the cost of fitness damaging cuisine to inspire folks to come into a strength conscious snack. According to my opinion, the general public should not be forced or pushed in any direction as it may result with negative aspects, rather, the state ministry may run motivational activities. In the present age, people are consuming a huge number of fast feed by knowing or without concerning the deleterious impacts of those ingredients of the foods. For examples, chips, cold drinks, chicken fries, and burgers are made by type the component which has dangerous side effects on the human body. Some people are aware about the consequences, but can't avoid them due to its mouth watering flavours. However, some other group of folks is regularly eating the same type of drink as it is easy to buy at an affordable price without wasting much time. Furthermore, junk meat is ultimately choosing whose are working with hectic working hours. As a result, a quick increase on their daily foodstuff might terribly shock them and as a reaction they will begin to criticize the state and their decisions. on the other hand, the rule should undergo a few inspiration measurement other than force a unlike duty. For example, the state cabinet should run multiple sports activities throughout the country to turn the people into health concern life. Moreover, the union should use warning notes on the pack of the unhealthy foods in the purpose of being total awareness. Social media can be used to spread negative impacts of the particular foods aside of creating some motivational advertisement of consuming healthy cuisines. Consequently, people will gradually turn into strength concerning ingredients and the impacts of the reducing business of junk foods will not effect a sudden shutdown of industries and unemployment of many workers. To sum up, some people believe, imposing law may reduce the negative aspects of unhealthy cuisines and drive people to healthy life. But, according to my personal opinion, I think the levy policy may result with violent reactions from victims, rather than, the law should be chosen slower and motivational actions which will not be a sudden effect on any parties.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
well-being issues. From that prospective, a certain group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggested that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to increase the cost of fitness damaging cuisine to inspire folks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into a strength conscious snack. According to my opinion, the
Consider using "public".
general public
should not
be forced
or pushed in any direction as it may result with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects,
rather
, the state ministry may run motivational activities.

In the present age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming a huge number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
feed by knowing or without concerning the deleterious impacts of those ingredients of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. For examples, chips,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
drinks, chicken fries, and burgers
are made
by type the component which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
side effects on the human body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware about the consequences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can't avoid them due to its mouth watering
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other group of folks is
regularly
eating the same type of drink as it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
at an affordable price without wasting much time.

Furthermore
, junk meat is
ultimately
choosing whose are working with hectic working hours.
As a result
, a quick increase on their daily foodstuff might
terribly
shock them and as a reaction they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to criticize the state and their decisions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
should undergo a few inspiration measurement other than force
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unlike duty.
For example
, the state cabinet should run multiple sports activities throughout the country to turn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into health concern life.
Moreover
, the union should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
warning notes on the pack of the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the purpose of being total awareness. Social media can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
aside of creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivational
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
consuming healthy cuisines.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
gradually
turn into strength concerning ingredients and the impacts of the reducing business of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
a sudden shutdown of industries and unemployment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, imposing law may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of unhealthy cuisines and drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to healthy life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, according to my personal opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the levy policy may result with violent reactions from victims,
rather
than, the law should
be chosen
slower and motivational actions which will not be a sudden effect on any parties.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay you have seen an advertisment in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and loo after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letterexplain why you lie the job, give details why you be would be a su v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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