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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is never too late for an old person to receive higher education and to get a university degree. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v.395

It is never too late for an old person to receive higher education and to get a university degree. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 395
Many big industries allocate tremendous amount of money for advertisements and promotions, thus, drawing the attention of costumers to utilize or consume their products. This essay will discuss the problems in the small business that could not afford such advertisement as well as the people’s concentration on just one merchandise, and suggest variable solutions. The majority of the companies provide good strategic plans in order to increase their demand, resulting in a more profitable industry by investing a large portion of the budgets on promotions especially in the television, radio as well as in the internet. However, some business does not have enough money to sustain such propaganda, but most of them sell high quality products, that could compete with other larger company. Moreover, many products were disregarded by the consumer, but it possesses same kind, characteristics and functionality. For instance, people will choose the commodity that they usually saw on television, despite of the price, allowing larger companies to boost their sales. Alternatively, one solution that should be taken into consideration is that, the government must be in control to limit the amount of money in the usage of a specific promotion, thus, making small businesses gain their pace to be acknowledged by the quality of the product not on the popularity. Furthermore, authority must create a program prioritizing the local products or awareness that can be beneficial to all. To conclude, people must outweigh the advantages and disadvantages of choosing such commodity. It should not be based on the popularity but into the usage, aspect and value that meets their demand and expectations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
industries allocate tremendous amount of money for advertisements and promotions,
thus
, drawing the attention of costumers to utilize or consume their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This essay will discuss the problems in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business that could not afford such advertisement
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s concentration on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one merchandise, and suggest variable solutions.

The majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
strategic plans in order to increase their demand, resulting in a more profitable industry by investing a large portion of the budgets on promotions
especially
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the television".
in the television
, radio
as well
as
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to sustain such propaganda,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them sell high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, that could compete with other larger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were disregarded
by the consumer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it possesses same kind, characteristics and functionality.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will choose the commodity that they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
on television,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the price, allowing larger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to boost their sales.

Alternatively
, one solution that should
be taken
into consideration is that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in control to limit the amount of money in the usage of a specific promotion,
thus
, making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses gain their pace to
be acknowledged
by the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
not on the popularity.
Furthermore
, authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create a program prioritizing the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or awareness that can be beneficial to all.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
outweigh the advantages and disadvantages of choosing such commodity. It should not
be based
on the popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
into the usage, aspect and value that meets their demand and expectations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay It is never too late for an old person to receive higher education and to get a university degree. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 395

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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