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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help local community. The believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help local community. The believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 1
"Health is Wealth", is what believed by everyone and is also true, so far as I am concerned. As being healthy makes the environment not only strong, but also helps in completing our work(s) in time. A healthy body with a healthy mind always paves way for a good thought keeping the person peaceful. It also makes an individual provide solutions for any kind of problem either in their own life, career or with others. Now-a-days, medical emergencies are vast due to some new and unknown unique diseases, besides the existing ones. Like Corona Virus, Swine Flu and many more which really needs lot of facilities of medication. In spite of taking many precautions as declared by the scientists, these doctors are getting spread very rapidly and countlessly. Also, the cure requires a lot if medicines, multiple sorts of treatments which are too expensive. When the middle-class and low-class people only cannot afford, how come the poor bare the such, is really a big question. For instance, a recent mass attack of Corona Virus from China, has shaken the global environment in an amazing astonishing way. Despite many precautions were taken by the respective governments, banning the transport and travel completely till a certain long time, it still persists as being identified with one or the other person, globally on a daily basis. Medicines, being used for this cause, are very costly that cannot be borne by normal middle level earning folks. Though there are many noticeable developments in the World of science and technology, the drastic outburst of topical contaminations are being ended-up with empty hands. Keeping in view of the future, government has to be focus-centric on the prices, to be brought down, through implementing new steps. Actions to be taken like a free supply of medicines in times of exclusive needs, if not permanently, at least till that specific disorder or contamination shall abort to an extent. Besides, the authorities should concentrate on how to minimize the costs, find out ways to lessen the financial and unhealthy burden. In line with the above, the results are anyway, seemingly known to everyone, for which further improvements can be sorted out. In my view, it is very important to jot down the impetuous mess in order to calm down the scenario and finally, find out a permanent answer to avoid repetition of such circumstances.
"
Health is Wealth
"
, is what believed by everyone and is
also
true,
so
far as I
am concerned
. As being healthy
makes
the environment not
only
strong,
but
also
helps
in completing our work(s) in time. A healthy body with a healthy mind always paves way for a
good
thought
keeping the person peaceful. It
also
makes
an individual provide solutions for any kind of problem either in their
own
life, career or with others.

Now
-a-days, medical emergencies are vast due to
some
new and unknown unique diseases,
besides
the existing ones. Like
Corona Virus
, Swine Flu and
many
more which
really
needs
lot of
facilities of medication.
In spite of
taking
many
precautions as declared by the scientists, these doctors are getting spread
very
rapidly
and
countlessly
.
Also
, the cure requires a lot if medicines, multiple sorts of treatments which are too expensive. When the middle-
class
and low-
class
people
only
cannot afford, how
come
the poor bare the such, is
really
a
big
question.

For instance
, a recent mass attack of
Corona Virus
from China, has shaken the global environment in an amazing astonishing way. Despite
many
precautions
were taken
by the respective
governments
, banning the transport and travel completely till a certain long time, it
still
persists as
being identified
with one or the other person, globally on a daily basis. Medicines, being
used
for this cause, are
very
costly that cannot
be borne
by normal middle level earning folks.

Though there are
many
noticeable developments in the World of science and technology, the drastic outburst of topical
contaminations
are
being ended
-up with empty hands. Keeping in view of the future,
government
has to
be focus-centric on the prices, to
be brought
down, through implementing new steps. Actions to
be taken
like a free supply of medicines in times of exclusive needs, if not
permanently
, at least till that specific disorder or contamination shall abort to an extent.
Besides
, the authorities should concentrate on how to minimize the costs, find out ways to lessen the financial and unhealthy burden.

In line with the above, the results are anyway,
seemingly
known to everyone, for which
further
improvements can
be sorted
out. In my view, it is
very
important
to jot down the impetuous mess in order to calm down the scenario and
finally
, find out a permanent answer to avoid repetition of such circumstances.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help local community. The believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
395 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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