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1202 Describe a time you went to a crowded place. You should say: when you went therewhat the place waswhat you did thereand explain why you went there/ how you felt about the crowded place. v.1

1202 Describe a time you went to a crowded place. You should say: when you went therewhat the place waswhat you did thereand explain why you went there/ how you felt about the crowded place. v. 1
In a myriad of nations, people have more issues related to physical health as they opt for a detrimental living condition. This essay will discuss that bad company and over- reliance on an unhealthy diet are the main reasons behind this problem and suggest that indulging in physical pursuits and eating home cooked meals are the viable solutions to this issue. In this day and age, junk food is ubiquitous and people are tempted more towards it because it is more convenient than home-made meals. People are so busy nowadays, they hardly have time to cook nourishments at home or do some exercise. Due to which, they are obliged to eat packaged food which is readily available. A recent survey in India exhibits that the majority of the youth likes to eat outside in hotels and restaurants. Furthermore, sometimes people indulge into bad habits like smoking and drinking alcohol because of their friends and colleagues. Consumption of these products to a great extent can cause a detrimental effect on the health of human beings and cause some serious diseases like cancer. Therefore, eating tertiary processed meals and spending hours with people who have bad hobbies are the main causes of low living standards. The be-all and end-all solution to this problem is to incorporate more physical activities into our daily lives. People should take out some time from their busy schedules and partake into some leisure amenities, such as swimming. For example, some multinational companies provide gym at their offices where employees can work out and use the free services of the gym during their free time. Moreover, avoiding poor diet and cooking meals at home plays a vital role in a healthy lifestyle. Hence, participating in physical exercises and cooking sustenance at home is the key to a better and a fulfilling life. In conclusion, staying in good company, avoiding junk food and participating in recreational activities play a pivotal role in improving the lifestyle of people. It is recommended that governments should put more tax on fast food, so that people are obliged to eat at their residence.
In a myriad of nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more issues related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health as they opt for a detrimental living condition. This essay will discuss that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and over- reliance on an unhealthy diet are the main reasons behind this problem and suggest that indulging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
pursuits and eating home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are the viable solutions to this issue.

In this day and age, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is ubiquitous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tempted
more towards it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more convenient than home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy nowadays, they hardly have time to cook
Possible spelling mistake found.
nourishments at
home or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise. Due to which, they
are obliged
to eat packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
readily
available. A recent survey in India exhibits that the majority of the youth likes to eat outside in hotels and restaurants.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits like smoking and drinking alcohol
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their friends and colleagues. Consumption of these products to a great extent can cause a detrimental effect on the health of human beings and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases like cancer.
Therefore
, eating tertiary processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and spending hours with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
hobbies are the main causes of low living standards.

The be-all and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-all solution to this problem is to incorporate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities into our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time from their busy schedules and partake into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure amenities, such as swimming.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide gym at their offices where employees can work out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the free services of the gym during their free time.
Moreover
, avoiding poor diet and cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at home plays a vital role in a healthy lifestyle.
Hence
, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises and cooking sustenance at home is the key to a better and a fulfilling life.

In conclusion
, staying in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, avoiding junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and participating in recreational activities play a pivotal role in improving the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is recommended
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should put more tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obliged
to eat at their residence.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1202 Describe a time you went to a crowded place. You should say: when you went therewhat the place waswhat you did thereand explain why you went there/ how you felt about the crowded place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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