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Some people think that sports played in teams are better than individual sports others don't think. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that sports played in teams are better than individual sports others don't think. v. 2
It is well known that, "Water is life” yet pollution records high at present, which is a major concern for environmental activists these days. It is being polluted in so many ways which hazardously affects human and other living organism. This essay will argue supporting the proposal. Water covers up about one third of the total area of the universe. Despite every living creature is fairly dependent in their life cycle, it’s becoming a matter of great concern that, that’s being polluted day by day from sea, rivers to lakes the main sources of usable water. Also the living creatures underwater are greatly affected by pollution. Needlessly to say, we humans are the main culprit behind the massacre. However, environmental activists are more concerned about the growing catastrophe and raising protest against it. Particularly, uncontrolled use of plastics, oil refinery, chemicals and industrial wastages and increased use of pesticides are the main causes of pollution. As a result, millions of marine animals found dead on the coast entrapped into plastics each year including whales, turtles and sharks. On the other hand, the underwater ecosystems are also getting affected which in turn results extinction to some rare species. Furthermore, decreasing amount of consumable sea foods is affecting our food system. Besides, potentially deadly waterborne diseases like diarrhoea, cholera, typhoid fever, jaundice and viral hepatitis are more common in different parts of the world. It is a great matter of sorrow that, people from rural areas don’t even afford their treatment expenses and some are lacking access to the treatment facilities. In summary, nowadays it is a global concern among people who are seeking sustainable environmental development. Therefore, necessary measures must be taken within a well maintained manner to reduce the level gradually in order to protect the marine creatures as well as humans.
It is well known that,
"
Water is life”
yet
pollution records high at present, which is a major concern for environmental activists these days. It is
being polluted
in
so
many
ways which
hazardously
affects human and other living organism. This essay will argue supporting the proposal.

Water covers up about one third of the total area of the universe. Despite every living creature is
fairly
dependent in their life cycle, it’s becoming a matter of great concern that, that’s
being polluted
day by day from sea, rivers to lakes the main sources of usable water.
Also
the living creatures underwater are
greatly
affected
by pollution.
Needlessly
to say, we humans are the main culprit behind the massacre.
However
, environmental activists are more concerned about the growing catastrophe and raising protest against it.

Particularly
, uncontrolled
use
of plastics, oil refinery, chemicals and industrial
wastages
and increased
use
of pesticides are the main causes of pollution.
As a result
, millions of marine animals found dead on the coast entrapped into plastics each year including whales, turtles and sharks.
On the other hand
, the underwater ecosystems are
also
getting
affected
which in turn results extinction to
some
rare species.

Furthermore
, decreasing amount of consumable sea foods is affecting our food system.
Besides
,
potentially
deadly waterborne diseases like
diarrhoea
, cholera, typhoid fever, jaundice and viral hepatitis are more common in
different
parts of the world. It is a great matter of sorrow that,
people
from rural areas don’t even afford their treatment expenses and
some
are lacking access to the treatment facilities.

In summary, nowadays it is a global concern among
people
who are seeking sustainable environmental development.
Therefore
, necessary measures
must
be taken
within a well maintained manner to
reduce
the level
gradually
in order to protect the marine creatures
as well
as humans.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that sports played in teams are better than individual sports others don't think. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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