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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v.369

Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 369
It is true that happiness in life is indispensable to lead a peaceful life. While some say, having huge wealth is the main key to being content, but how is this possible? Living a happy life can be considered on other bases as well. On the one hand, those who believe that true contentment of living is from possessing wealth as it allows them to have a luxurious lifestyle. This is because they can afford anything in order to make their life easier, which means they can lead a comfortable and pleasure-loving life. For example, if people have a lot of money to spend, rather than saving every penny, they can afford expensive things such as cars, jewels, properties, and travelling. However, these things cannot be possessed without wealth. Therefore, money acts as a backbone for a high standard of living. Nevertheless, they are also other various life satisfaction which money cannot buy. One of them is to have good health even healthier life is considered the greatest wealth. The reason for this living life without any medical restrictions, which is counted as the biggest blessing. For instance, those who have health issues are restricted to eating certain food, whereas healthy men can eat anything. In contrast, even though the wealthy can afford anything in life, but health crisis will bind him to enjoy such comforts. Another thing to consider is to have a happy family when the living environment is peaceful it keeps the mind satisfied. As a result, these other things give pleasure both mentally and physically in life. In conclusion, despite having a huge amount can help to have a comfortable living as it allows to purchase expensive things without a thought, but other things such as good health and family life also attribute for satisfaction in living peacefully because it gives not only mental relieve but also physical.
It is true that happiness in
life
is indispensable to lead a peaceful
life
. While
some
say, having huge wealth is the main key to being content,
but
how is this possible?
Living
a happy
life
can
be considered
on
other
bases
as well
.

On the one hand, those who believe that true contentment of
living
is from possessing wealth as it
allows
them to have a luxurious lifestyle. This is
because
they can afford anything in order to
make
their
life
easier, which means they can lead a comfortable and pleasure-loving
life
.
For example
, if
people
have
a lot of
money to spend,
rather
than saving every penny, they can afford expensive things such as cars, jewels, properties, and travelling.
However
, these things cannot
be possessed
without wealth.
Therefore
, money acts as a backbone for a high standard of living.

Nevertheless
, they are
also
other
various
life
satisfaction which money cannot
buy
. One of them is to have
good
health
even healthier
life
is considered
the greatest wealth. The reason for this
living
life
without any medical restrictions, which
is counted
as the biggest blessing.
For instance
, those who have
health
issues
are restricted
to eating certain food, whereas healthy
men
can eat anything.
In contrast
,
even though
the wealthy can afford anything in
life
,
but
health
crisis will bind him to enjoy such comforts. Another thing to consider is to have a happy family when the
living
environment is peaceful it
keeps
the mind satisfied.
As a result
, these
other
things give pleasure both mentally and
physically
in life.

In conclusion
, despite having a huge amount can
help
to have a comfortable
living
as it
allows
to
purchase
expensive things without a
thought
,
but
other
things such as
good
health
and family
life
also
attribute for satisfaction in
living
peacefully
because
it gives not
only
mental relieve
but
also
physical.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising can tell you a lot about a country. v. 369

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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