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Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. v. 1
Some people opine that artificially intelligent robot will gradually replace human workers. In my opinion, this is very unlikely to happen. Simple human tasks can be performed by robots; however, complex jobs requiring cognitive touch will still need to be done by humans. This essay will discuss why only a few jobs will be replaced by robots and the others / the rest will continue to need human effort. On the one hand, a simple human tasks that are repetitive and conditional in nature can easily be automated. This is because companies believe that the accuracy and productivity of high volume monotonous tasks are higher when performed by robots than humans. For instance, a survey on automation in back end banking process in India reveal that not only does the process errors drop by 95%, but also productivity increases by 80% if robotic automation is implemented. For these reasons, human effort on regular menial tasks can be replaced by robotic automation. On the other hand, jobs requiring qualities like emotion and intuition will continue to be done by humans. This is because fields like psychology will always need a doctor’s diagnosis. For instance, in the USA, while all patients undergo computer based mental tests, the patient’s diagnosis can only be confirmed accurate by a psychiatrist post face to face counselling sessions. Hence, many complex tasks that need human judgement cannot be replaced by robots. To conclude, it is quite possible for robots to replace a few human jobs. Artificially intelligent robots can replace simple human tasks and support them in a few complex tasks; however, they can never replace all complex tasks done by them. Ultimately, non monotonous tasks requiring a human touch can never be fully replaced.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
artificially
intelligent robot will
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
workers. In my opinion, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely to happen. Simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
can
be performed
by robots;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
requiring cognitive touch will
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be replaced
by robots and the others / the rest will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
effort.

On the one hand, a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
that are repetitive and conditional in nature can
easily
be automated
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
believe that the accuracy and productivity of high volume monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are higher when performed by robots than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
, a survey on automation in back
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
banking process in India reveal that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the process errors drop by 95%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
productivity increases by 80% if robotic automation
is implemented
. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
effort on regular menial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
can
be replaced
by robotic automation.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
requiring qualities like emotion and intuition will continue to
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fields like psychology will always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a doctor’s diagnosis.
For instance
, in the USA, while all patients undergo computer based mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, the patient’s diagnosis can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be confirmed
accurate by a psychiatrist post face to face counselling sessions.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
judgement cannot
be replaced
by robots.

To conclude
, it is quite possible for robots to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
replace
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Artificially
intelligent robots can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
replace
simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
and support them in a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
;
however
, they can never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
replace
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
done by them.
Ultimately
,
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
requiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
touch can never be
fully
replaced.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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