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You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to ex v.1

You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to ex v. 1
It has now become a heated topic of discussion that the human activities are burdening the global ecosystem which leads to the extinction of species and loss of diversity. There is a plethora of reasons behind the disappearance of the species and biodiversity loss. However, by taking some possible measures we can curb this growing issue. To embark with, Firstly the proliferating population is the major cause of threatening the species and biodiversity. Forest is recklessly cut off and transformed into societies to cater the housing needs of the growing population. Thus, deforestation leads to the extinction of many species of plants and animals. Secondly, due to pollution and global warming, the atmosphere of the earth is deteriorating day by day, which results in making the environment, unhealthy for the survival of the species of plants and animal. For example, many types of aquatic animals are disappearing due to water pollution. Hence, all these activities are badly impacting the biodiversity. Nevertheless, by taking some measures we can put a cap on this rapidly increasing problem. The government should come up with some stringent punishments and put a legal ban on the builders for constructing the buildings in the forest belt areas. For instance, the India government has imposed hefty fines and strict punishments on the people indulge in the cutting of trees and hunting of animals under green India initiative. Additionally, the government should spread awareness among the masses to use renewable sources as alternatives to the non renewable sources to soak the growing pollution. In conclusion, deforestation and pollution are the main reasons for the disappearance of the some races of animals and plants. Therefore, by taking the above measures we can save the species of animals and plants and make the planet earth a beautiful place to live for all the creatures.
It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a heated topic of discussion that the human activities are burdening the global ecosystem which leads to the extinction of species and loss of diversity. There is a plethora of reasons behind the disappearance of the species and biodiversity loss.
However
, by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible measures we can curb this growing issue.

To embark with,
Firstly
the proliferating population is the major cause of threatening the species and biodiversity. Forest is
recklessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off and transformed into societies to cater the housing needs of the growing population.
Thus
, deforestation leads to the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Secondly
, due to pollution and global warming, the atmosphere of the earth is deteriorating day by day, which results in making the environment, unhealthy for the survival of the species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of aquatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are disappearing due to water pollution.
Hence
, all these activities are
badly
impacting the biodiversity.

Nevertheless
, by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures we can put a cap on this
rapidly
increasing problem. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stringent punishments and put a legal ban on the builders for constructing the buildings in the forest belt areas.
For instance
, the India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has imposed hefty fines and strict punishments on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
indulge in the cutting of trees and hunting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
under green India initiative.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spread awareness among the masses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable sources as alternatives to the
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
sources to soak the growing pollution.

In conclusion
, deforestation and pollution are the main reasons for the disappearance of the
Did you mean "same"?
some
races of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
.
Therefore
, by taking the above measures we can save the species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the planet earth a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for all the creatures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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