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As part of the cost of student housing, students play to have phones in their dormitory rooms. I think this is unnecessary, and the university should remove the phones from student's rooms. Room phones are not needed since students all have phones we v.1

As part of the cost of student housing, students play to have phones in their dormitory rooms. I think this is unnecessary, and the university should remove the phones from student's rooms. Room phones are not needed since students all have phones we v. 1
People’s opinions differ as to whether or not school children should be given homework. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of homework, I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of education. There are several reasons why people might argue that homework is an unnecessary burden on children. There is evidence to support the idea that homework does nothing to improve educational outcomes. Countries such as Finland, where school children are not given homework, regularly outperform nations where setting homework is the norm. Many parents would agree that school day is already long enough, and leave children too tired to do a further study when they return home. * It is recognized that play time is just as beneficial as study time from the perspective of brain development. In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that homework has an important role to play in the schooling of children. The main benefit of homework is that it encourages independent learning and problem solving, as children are challenged to work through tasks alone and at their own pace. In doing so, students must apply the knowledge that they have learned in the classroom. For example, by doing mathematics exercises at home, students consolidate their understanding of the concepts taught by their teacher at school. In my view, it is important for children to develop an independent study habit because this prepares them to work alone as adults. In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits overweigh them in the long term.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments against the setting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
, I
still
believe that it is a necessary aspect of education.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is an unnecessary burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There is evidence to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
does nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational outcomes. Countries such as Finland, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
,
regularly
outperform nations where setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is the norm.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day is already long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too tired to do a
further
study when they return home. * It
is recognized
that play time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as beneficial as study time from the perspective of brain development.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above arguments, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in the schooling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is that it encourages independent learning and problem solving, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are challenged
to work through tasks alone and at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
apply the knowledge that they have learned in the classroom.
For example
, by doing mathematics exercises at home, students consolidate their understanding of the concepts taught by their teacher at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop an independent study habit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this prepares them to work alone as adults.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
certainly
has its drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the benefits
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
them in the long term.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay As part of the cost of student housing, students play to have phones in their dormitory rooms. I think this is unnecessary, and the university should remove the phones from student's rooms. Room phones are not needed since students all have phones we v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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