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You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v.1

You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v. 1
A number of people stay in tune with the new fashion trends as well as hairstyles in many countries. In my opinion, this trend caused by mainly globalization and advanced internet technologies, and the trend is a positive development because it makes people feel confident, and socialize them The advancements in the internet technology as well as globalization have played a role in adapting a new fashion trend. Visually speaking, thanks to globalization, trendy product can be exported to many countries in the period of a short time. For example, even if you can live in Turkey, you can find the product, which become a new trend in another country, in your own country. Moreover, the introduction of online shopping allows people to follow and buy fashion trends via global online stores such as Amazon, eBay and Aliexpress. Thus, these developments impact the fact of fashion in various countries. Apart from the cause of this trend, the fashion industry has positive impacts on people and societies. One of the greatest advantages of following the latest fashion is self-confidence. For instance, those who follow the new trends feel self-confident because they are accepted by various communities in a given society. Furthermore, being fashionable and stylish help people make new friends. To illustrate, people who look stylish or trendy have a thousand of followers on social network sites. Thus, following fashion trends are beneficial for the socialization of individuals as well as the level of their self-confidence. In conclusion, a number of people are staying in tune with the new fashion trends in many countries. The reason of the trend is the globalization and the development of internet technologies, and following the fashion trends and hairstyle is a positive development, as it provide to develop self-confidence as well as a socialization tool.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in tune with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as hairstyles in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
caused by
mainly
globalization and advanced internet technologies, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel confident, and socialize
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them


The advancements in the internet technology as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as globalization have played a role in adapting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
Visually
speaking, thanks to globalization, trendy product can
be exported
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the period of a short time.
For example
, even if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Turkey, you can find the product, which become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, the introduction of online shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
via global online stores such as Amazon, eBay and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aliexpress
.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
impact the fact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
in various countries.

Apart from the cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and societies. One of the greatest advantages of following the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is self-confidence.
For instance
, those who follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
feel self-confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by various communities in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society.
Furthermore
, being fashionable and stylish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who look stylish or trendy have a thousand of followers on social network sites.
Thus
, following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
are beneficial for the socialization of individuals as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the level of their self-confidence.

In conclusion
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are staying in tune with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The reason of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is the globalization and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of internet technologies, and following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
and hairstyle is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, as it provide to develop self-confidence as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as a socialization tool.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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