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You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v.1

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v. 1
These days, many people have become more ambitious, many try to have success at work and also want to spend stage with their loved ones at the same point. Being able to harmony between both office and home needs such a great energy. In the following essay I will discuss on the issue of maintaining work-life balance and the solution for the same. The major problem associated with this is people try to spend their quality time with family members and at the same time they want a successful career, but in a result of maintaining these both persons gets completely exhausted physically and mentally as well. Which often leads to no more continuous and this will put a bad impact on person and there could be breakdown of a family and poor performance at work. It has been analysed in a career survey that these days almost 70% of the employees in the corporate world are stressed either of personal or professional life. So, the wise idea is to balance between both. However, sharing responsibilities, cooperating with each other would definitely help in these circumstances. The best way to tackle this problem is to make equity in their lives by giving proper priorities to work. Another best solution is if, people take out some time for themselves and try to do some physical activities to maintain their mental and physical fitness. Such as yoga, walking, running on a daily basis. Meditation and mindfulness exercise to improve their health. In a nutshell, these alternative therapies can allow persons to be very energetic at the office and relaxed while at home. To sum up, I would like to say that the great achievement always come with scarifies. In my view, to maintain a successful career and happy family at the same time, people should focus on one thing at a point.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more ambitious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
try to have success at work and
also
want to spend stage with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones at the same point. Being able to harmony between both office and home needs such a great energy. In the following essay I will discuss on the issue of maintaining work-life balance and the solution for the same.

The major problem associated with this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to spend their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they want a successful career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a result of maintaining these both persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
completely exhausted
physically
and mentally
as well
. Which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to no more continuous and this will put a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on person and there could be breakdown of a family and poor performance at work. It has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in a career survey that these days almost 70% of the employees in the corporate world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
either of personal or professional life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is to balance between both.

However
, sharing responsibilities, cooperating with each other would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in these circumstances. The best way to tackle this problem is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
equity in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by giving proper priorities to work. Another best solution is if,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and try to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activities to maintain their mental and physical fitness. Such as yoga, walking, running on a daily basis. Meditation and mindfulness exercise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health. In a nutshell, these alternative therapies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
persons to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
energetic at the office and relaxed while at home.

To sum up, I would like to say that the great achievement always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with scarifies. In my view, to maintain a successful career and happy family at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus on one thing at a point.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have a friend who lives in a city abroad Yo have decide that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in the city Write a letter to your friend In your letter Explain what you would like to do Explain what kind of work or studies v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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