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An English speaking friend wants to spend a two week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice Write a letter to your friend In your letter offer to find somewhere to staygive advice about what to dogive information about v.2

An English speaking friend wants to spend a two week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice Write a letter to your friend In your letter offer to find somewhere to staygive advice about what to dogive information about v. 2
Many countries have different people from the different cultures among their residents. This gives many advantages to the government as well as disadvantages. This essay provides you with needed information and helps to identify whether good points can overcome bad ones or not. Starting with advantage of the different cultures, first of all, it helps to improve local citizens' knowledge and gives them an opportunity to communicate with strangers forcing them to learn a new language. For instance, France is one of the most multi-cultural countries in the world and the IQ results of its habitants are better than other countries. Even though there are less conflicts between people comparing with other countries. From another point of view, there are several disadvantages and they are kind of an opposite side of its benefits. In details, place where immigration is high and migration is low might be some problems with locals and moved people such as legal rights or equality. For example, South Korea is always blamed for its judging new comers unfair while Suria is known for its harming human rights of its residents. In addition, multi-culturalism is not always good because sometimes local people may not like others coming and living on their land. As a bright example, in 1991 several countries were at war, which was among different peoples, after being separated from the SSSR their local people started killing Russian people who left in these lands. In conclusion, it is always hard to control people with different backgrounds but for sure if the harmony and peace can be achieved it will give more benefits than drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures among their residents. This gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as disadvantages. This essay provides you with needed information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to identify whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points can overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ones or not.

Starting with advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens' knowledge and gives them an opportunity to communicate with strangers forcing them to learn a new language.
For instance
, France is one of the most multi-cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world and the IQ results of its habitants are better than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Even though
there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun conflicts is countable.
less
conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
comparing with other countries.

From another point of view, there are several
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disadvantages and
they are
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'an' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of an
opposite side of its benefits. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, place where immigration is high and migration is low might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as legal rights or equality.
For example
, South Korea is always blamed for its judging
Did you mean "newcomers"?
new comers
unfair while
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suria
is known
for its harming human rights of its residents.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-culturalism
is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not like others coming and living on their land. As a bright example, in 1991 several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were at war, which was among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
, after
being separated
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
SSSR
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
killing Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in these lands.

In conclusion
, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for sure if the harmony and peace can
be achieved
it will give more benefits than drawbacks
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay An English speaking friend wants to spend a two week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice Write a letter to your friend In your letter offer to find somewhere to staygive advice about what to dogive information about v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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