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Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities to what extent do you agree? use specific details and examples to explain your view? v.1

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities use specific details and examples to explain your view? v. 1
Many people believe that skills play a very important role in individuals' lives that is why nowadays schools and universities are focusing on involving their students in group activities. So that they can increase their younger ones intellectual skills which is convincing, even I also think in a same manner and agree to the given statement. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to support my view is that group activities can save a lot of time, this is to say that in this contemporary world student believe in learning without putting any extra efforts because of this school universities and organisations organise such type of activities where humans can learn some professional skills like team work, time management, work management et-cetera. By doing this they can think out-of-the-box as well as they get better results in all domains whether it is a working field or academic. To support my claim I can quote an example of developed and developing country universities where they are focused on increasing students' skills instead of giving preference to academic activities. On the contrary, there is one school of thought that ''the more you learn the wiser you become", by which it is meant that some students likes to learn alone without taking help of others. Despite knowing this fact that studying alone "broadens individual's horizon and that thing can be used for enhancing their skills independently. Hence, it takes some time and efforts, but still individuals learn new things through different approaches. To exemplify this in a recent survey researchers has revealed that most renowned personalities like to solve problems alone or in a unique way. To put it in a nutshell, it can be said that both the aspects have their own advantages, but no one can abnegate the role of intellectual activities in humans' lives. As such, it is indeed true that if everyone understand the importance of group activities and their benefits, then no doubt this situation can act like a hand and gloves for all of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in individuals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that is
why nowadays schools and universities are focusing on involving their students in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they can increase their younger ones intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which is convincing, even I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a same manner" with the adverb for "same"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a same manner
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. My inclination
is justified
in the ensuing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to support my view is that group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time, this is to say that in this contemporary world student believe in learning without putting any extra efforts
because of this
school universities and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
where humans can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like team work, time management, work management
Possible spelling mistake found.
et-cetera
. By doing this they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out-of-the-box
as well
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better results in all domains whether it is a working field or academic. To support my claim I can quote an example of developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
universities where they
are focused
on increasing students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
instead
of giving preference to academic activities.

On the contrary
, there is one school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that ''the more you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the wiser you become
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, by which it
is meant
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
alone without taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of others. Despite knowing this fact that studying alone
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
broadens individual's horizon and that thing can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for enhancing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
independently
.
Hence
, it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time and efforts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches. To exemplify this in a recent survey researchers has revealed that most renowned personalities like to solve problems alone or
Consider replacing "in a unique way" with the adverb for "unique"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a unique way
.

To put it in a nutshell, it can
be said
that both the aspects have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one can abnegate the role of intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in humans'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As such, it is
indeed
true that if everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "understands", "understood".
understand
the importance of group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and their benefits, then no doubt this situation can act like a hand and gloves for all of them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities use specific details and examples to explain your view? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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