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You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend explaining what you would like to do. Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have bee v.1

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend explaining what you would like to do. Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have bee v. 1
Colleges and universities often refer to educational, as well as skill-enhancement, hub. Students enrol in colleges in order to acquire knowledge, which enhances their future career prospects. However, there are other reasons why many attend colleges. The majority of people attend universities to pursue their higher education, which gears up their opportunities in the job market. Likewise, many have a far greater goal in their lives and in order to reach their heights, they choose colleges. A college or university acts as the main basement for the enlightened people. A great revolution has already occurred in the field of technology and that is correlated with the job market. Students seemed to join colleges in order to attain knowledge, which creates avenues for their dream jobs. Moreover, exposure to the social world is the main constraint for a student and the best place to develop such skills is none other than Colleges. Colleges inculcate a social behaviour of the students and provide a wide range of facilities that allow an individual to enhance skills. Some students join a college or university for social status and some who join from family pressure may also get a good career guidance under the roof of colleges from the experienced faculty who guides them how to develop their profile to match the desired target. In my opinion, college environment acts as a precursor to a student’s successful career and that is the reason many pupils join in colleges or universities to make their future dream come true.
Colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
refer to educational,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-enhancement, hub.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
enrol in colleges in order to acquire knowledge, which enhances their future career prospects.
However
, there are other reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attend colleges.

The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to pursue their higher education, which gears up their opportunities in the job market.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have a far greater goal in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and in order to reach their heights, they choose colleges. A college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
acts as the main basement for the enlightened
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A great revolution has already occurred in the field of technology and that
is correlated
with the job market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
seemed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
colleges in order to attain knowledge, which creates avenues for their dream jobs.

Moreover
, exposure to the social world is the main constraint for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and the best place to develop such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is none other than Colleges. Colleges inculcate a social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and provide a wide range of facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
an individual to enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for social status and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
from family pressure may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career guidance under the roof of colleges from the experienced faculty who guides them how to develop their profile to match the desired target.

In my opinion, college environment acts as a precursor to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
successful career and
that is
the reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
in colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend explaining what you would like to do. Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have bee v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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