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You borrow some books from your school or college library. unfortunately you have to go away to visit a sick relative Nd cannot returns the books in time. wrute a letter to library what has happened and tell what you want to do about it v.1

You borrow some books from your school or college library. unfortunately you have to go away to visit a sick relative Nd cannot returns the books in time. wrute a letter to library what has happened and tell what you want to do about it v. 1
An often debated topic is whether using cell phones exerts positive or negative effects on human life. Personally, I agree that there are many benefits that mobile phones could bring about, however, innumerable problems of the use of it need to be concerned. To commence, mobile phones are really useful in some specific circumstances. When an emergency like a traffic accident occurs, people could immediately call an ambulance to the hospital for treatments. Besides, it saves a lot of time for people using it. At present, there is no need for face-to-face interactions as they could make a phone call to their relatives or customers wherever they consider convenient. These advantages help our lives safer and more comfortable. However, we should never overlook the other side of the coin which is that cell phones have created many problems. A large number of citizens have become slaves of their phones and their bosses as they are monitored. With GPS technology, for example, people could be determined no matter where they travel. In addition, communication skills and health are suffering when people just stay at home and do not participate in some real-life situations, which could destroy social bonds and the well-being of a whole country. Last but not least, citizens nowadays usually keep everything in their smart phones, including documents and a huge amount of personal information, being in dangers of leaking their data when they let others use their mobile phones. In conclusion, when using it, users need to consider carefully about the aforementioned technical, social and medical issues above.
An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated topic is whether using cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on human life.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
could bring about,
however
, innumerable problems of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it need to
be concerned
.

To commence, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
really
useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific circumstances. When an emergency like a traffic accident occurs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could immediately call an ambulance to the hospital for treatments.
Besides
, it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using it. At present, there is no need for face-to-face interactions as they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
call to their relatives or customers wherever they consider convenient. These advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
safer and more comfortable.

However
, we should never overlook the other side of the coin which is that cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
citizens have become slaves of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and their bosses as they
are monitored
. With GPS technology,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be determined
no matter where they travel.
In addition
, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and health are suffering when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and do not participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
real-life situations, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
social bonds and the well-being of a whole country. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, citizens nowadays
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
everything in their smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, including documents and a huge amount of personal information, being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of leaking their data when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile phones.

In conclusion
, when using it, users need to consider
carefully
about the aforementioned technical, social and medical issues above.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You borrow some books from your school or college library. unfortunately you have to go away to visit a sick relative Nd cannot returns the books in time. wrute a letter to library what has happened and tell what you want to do about it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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