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You are unable to attend a goodbye party of a colleague at work. Write to him/her and say, – Why can’t you come? – Give him/her your best wishes. – Suggest another time and place for you to meet. v.1

You are unable to attend a goodbye party of a colleague at work. Write to him/her and say, – Why can’t you come? – Give him/her your best wishes. – Suggest another time and place for you to meet. v. 1
Even today, there are many people who insist that young people should follow their elders such as their parents and grandparents. However, there are others who feel that youngsters should make their own decisions instead of following others. In my view, youngsters have the right to make their own decisions, but they should be guided by their parents. Young people are more educated than their parents. They are more aware of the latest happenings in the world. They know what is trendy and what is not. However, they lack maturity. They also tend to make rash decisions. For this reason, youngsters should receive the guidance of their parents. If young people do whatever they want without listening to their parents, they are more likely to land themselves in trouble. Having said that, if young people want to make their own decisions and choose a path that is different from that of their parents they should have the freedom to do so. Youngsters these days are better educated and have a decent understanding of the world. They know what they want to do with their life. For example, most young people know what they want to be in life. Likewise, they know which ideology they should believe in and who they want to live with. In my opinion, it is important for young people to make such life decisions. Parents should be there to guide them every step of the way. However, they must not force their children to follow them blindly. In conclusion, there are certainly some benefits to following elders; however, in my opinion, youngsters are intelligent enough to make their own decisions regarding their life and career. It is the responsibility of parents to offer them guidance whenever they need it.
Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow their elders such as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents.
However
, there are others who feel that youngsters should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
instead
of following others. In my view, youngsters have the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
be guided
by their parents.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more educated than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They are more aware of the latest happenings in the world. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what is trendy and what is not.
However
, they lack maturity. They
also
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
rash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
For this reason
, youngsters should receive the guidance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
without listening to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they are more likely to land themselves in trouble.

Having said that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and choose a path
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from that of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they should have the freedom to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Youngsters these days are better educated and have a decent understanding of the world. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Likewise
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
which ideology they should believe in and who they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should be there to guide them every step of the way.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not force their children to follow them
blindly
.

In conclusion
, there are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to following elders;
however
, in my opinion, youngsters are intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and career. It is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to offer them guidance whenever they need it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay You are unable to attend a goodbye party of a colleague at work. Write to him/her and say, – Why can’t you come? – Give him/her your best wishes. – Suggest another time and place for you to meet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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