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The chart below show the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The chart below show the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use
In this modern era, environmental issue is becoming a hot topic to discuss among the world and in that, mainly global warming is getting higher priority. The following essay state the issues related to global warming and what are the precautions we can take to overcome it. Recently, it has been observed that the world's average temperature is increased by 5 degrees because of global warming. This rise in heat level started having an adverse impact to the environment. For instance, in Antartica, the temperature has raised from minus degree to 3 degrees. This increase in heat resulted in melting of glaciers and which in turn, raised the sea level. Increasing the ocean level has already taken some of the town located near to the sea. Furthermore, some animals like polar bear started facing issue because they lost their place to sleep as there is no ice and now they are becoming endangered species. Some region has unsuitable for living because of the climate change from hot to boiling hot. Now, as we started facing issues with the global warming, this is the right time to discuss and put plan to reduce the impact. Global warming has occurred mainly when the ultra-violet rays and carbon gases are getting accumulated in the earth's environment. To avoid this, we must stop expelling the carbon based air into the atmosphere. These gases are mainly coming from burning of plastic, emission from the transport system and from the funnel from the industries. Additionally, the plastics what we are pushing into the water are getting accumulated in the its surface and it is preventing the growth of sea plants that absorb these co2 contain gases. In conclusion, as global warming is becoming an important threat for all species, we can reduce this by stopping the usage of plastic and controlling the emission of carbon based gases to the atmosphere.
In this modern era, environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is becoming a hot topic to discuss among the world and in that,
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is getting higher priority. The following essay state the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
and what are the precautions we can take to overcome it.

Recently, it has
been observed
that the world's average temperature
is increased
by 5 degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. This rise in heat level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having an adverse impact to the environment.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartica
, the temperature has raised from minus degree to 3 degrees. This increase in heat resulted in melting of glaciers and which in turn, raised the sea level. Increasing the ocean level has already taken
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
town located near to the sea.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals like polar bear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lost their place to sleep as there is no ice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are becoming endangered species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
region has unsuitable for living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from hot to boiling hot.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, this is the right time to discuss and put plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the impact.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
has occurred
mainly
when the ultra-violet rays and carbon gases are getting accumulated in the earth's environment. To avoid this, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
expelling the carbon based air into the atmosphere. These gases are
mainly
coming from burning of plastic, emission from the transport system and from the funnel from the industries.
Additionally
, the plastics what we are pushing into the water are getting accumulated in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "its surface" or "the surface"?
the its surface
and it is preventing the growth of sea plants that absorb these co2 contain gases.

In conclusion
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is becoming an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
threat for all species, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this by stopping the usage of plastic and controlling the emission of carbon based gases to the atmosphere.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The chart below show the type of transports young people in four countries prefer to use

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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