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Knowledge could be obtained from many sources like book or by real life experiences. Both of them have a considerable amount of advantages. v.1

Knowledge could be obtained from many sources like book or by real life experiences. Both of them have a considerable amount of advantages. v. 1
These days people prefer to do shopping in large shopping malls or centres. Because of this, local shops are pushed to the extent of closing their business. Over time this growing trend among people will damage the society. Firstly, these shopping centres incorporate all provisions under a single roof. This approach leaves little or no light to shine for indigenous businesses. The investments made to run their business by these local shop owners do not give them the expected profit. They are left with no other choice but to merge their business with these so-called shopping malls. Like for example, products of local small scale business owners who sell arts and crafts are bought for a petty price and then branded and sold under the names of these large shopping malls. Another thing to mention is that the advertisements and sales made by the large shopping malls for their business propaganda easily reach the public. They also construct these shopping centres at convenient locations in the city where public transport is better. Because the government takes zero efforts to promote the local businesses they lose their market to shopping centres. For example, owing to financial constraints a local group of handloom weavers called Co-optex were not able to promote or advertise their products. Due to this, they were not able to successfully reach the people and eventually had to close their handloom shop. To conclude, because of failure to recognise the talent and skills of local business and promote them, tendency to shop at large malls is increasing. This will eventually lead to the closure of these businesses and a fall in the commercial growth of the economy.
These days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops
are pushed
to the extent of closing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Over time this growing trend among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will damage the society.

Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
incorporate all provisions under a single roof. This approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no light to shine for indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. The investments made to run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop owners do not give them the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
profit. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to merge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. Like
for example
, products of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners who sell arts and crafts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for a petty price and then branded and sold under the names of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.

Another thing to mention is that the advertisements and sales made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
propaganda
easily
reach the public. They
also
construct these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
at convenient locations in the city where public transport is better.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes zero efforts to promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
they lose their market to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
For example
, owing to financial constraints a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
group of
Possible spelling mistake found.
handloom
weavers called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Co-optex
were not able to promote or advertise their products. Due to this, they were not able to
successfully
reach the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
eventually
had to close their
Possible spelling mistake found.
handloom
shop.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of failure to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and promote them, tendency to shop at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is increasing. This will
eventually
lead to the closure of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and a fall in the commercial growth of the economy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Knowledge could be obtained from many sources like book or by real life experiences. Both of them have a considerable amount of advantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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