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You are expriencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain1. Why you are writing to him2. Why you cannot pay the rent3. When you will pay the rent. v.1

You are expriencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain1. Why you are writing to him2. Why you cannot pay the rent3. When you will pay the rent. v. 1
Nowadays, working longer hours has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, this trend appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant. There are severe impact on the employees' health and productivity. First, since average daily working hours in recent years have significantly increased to ten or even fourteen hours per day, modern workers would have less time to take care for their own condition. In fact, people who spend longer at work are more likely to suffer from various health issues, which leads to disastrous issues like anxiety disorders or even stroke. Second, by working much more than eight hours on a daily basis, the employees may frequently feel exhausted and make more errors at work than they used to. This means that, failing health due to overwork could result in poor work performance and low productivity. I also think that the extended hours of work have serious consequences for families and communities. At the family level, if family members cannot make time for each other, relationships among them are greatly weakened. For example, busy prevent parents from taking frequent family trips or even just having meals with their children, which could make the generation gaps be widened unexpectedly. In terms of community life, in order to develop their career, many people in large metropolis work more than sixty hours per week. They hardly have time for local community service projects such as conservation work or working with a charity, therefore, these people do not devote time to voluntary activity that brings benefits for their society. In conclusion, I would argue that working time should be reduced since the frequency of long working hours exerts an adverse effect on employees, their family bonds and their community.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, this trend appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant.

There are severe impact on the employees' health and productivity.
First
, since average daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in recent years have
significantly
increased to ten or even fourteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day, modern workers would have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take care for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
condition. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend longer at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are more likely to suffer from various health issues, which leads to disastrous issues like anxiety disorders or even stroke. Second, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
much more than eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on a daily basis, the employees may
frequently
feel exhausted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more errors at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to. This means that, failing health due to overwork could result in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance and low productivity.

I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
have serious consequences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
level, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for each other, relationships among them are
greatly
weakened.
For example
, busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
parents from taking frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trips or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having meals with their children, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the generation gaps
be widened
unexpectedly
. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
life, in order to develop their career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in large metropolis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more than sixty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week. They hardly have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service projects such as conservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with a charity,
therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to voluntary activity that brings benefits for their society.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
since the frequency of long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
exerts an adverse effect on employees, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are expriencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain1. Why you are writing to him2. Why you cannot pay the rent3. When you will pay the rent. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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