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You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v.1

You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v. 1
The world has become a global village due to advancement in technology and transportation. Most of the major cities have developed a cosmopolitan culture as people from all continents are travelling in search of jobs and businesses. Thus, all the required products are just a few meters distance away. I believe that although this new trend has several merits, a few demerits are present as well that cannot be avoided. To begin with, as businesses are no longer bounded inside national boundaries, entrepreneurs are trying to expand their businesses in other countries. Hence, native employees have to move to the different parts of the world, which in turn attracts commodity markets to go overseas. For instance, Indian people are spread all over the sphere, and hence the Indian restaurants are. Therefore, Indians never feel homesickness while abroad. Secondly, tourist can travel anywhere in the world without worrying about staple cuisines that lead to growth in the tourism industry. However, cultural diversity is in greater threat because of the availability of all products, like foods, clothes, anywhere in the earth. There is a tendency for people to prefer foreign cuisines to local dishes. Thus, indigenous people may lose their identities. To illustrate, Bodo was a community in the North-eastern part of India, and they gave more priorities to food stuffs and attires of Chinese. In no time, entire civilization had dissolved in Chinese culture without giving any prompt. Hence, acceptance of all products may deter local community to wipe out. To recapitulate, although the positives of availability of similar products all corners of the globe outweigh the negatives, the community must be tackled the consequences wisely. Otherwise, there is a high chance to be taken over by other stronger civilization.
The world has become a global village due to advancement in technology and transportation. Most of the major cities have developed a cosmopolitan culture as
people
from all continents are travelling in search of jobs and businesses.
Thus
, all the required
products
are
just
a few meters distance away. I believe that although this new trend has several merits, a few demerits are present
as well
that cannot
be avoided
.

To
begin
with, as businesses are no longer bounded inside national boundaries, entrepreneurs are trying to expand their businesses in other countries.
Hence
, native employees
have to
move
to the
different
parts of the world, which in turn attracts commodity markets to go overseas.
For instance
, Indian
people
are spread
all over the sphere, and
hence
the Indian restaurants are.
Therefore
, Indians never feel homesickness while abroad.
Secondly
, tourist can travel anywhere in the world without worrying about staple cuisines that lead to growth in the tourism industry.

However
, cultural diversity is in greater threat
because
of the availability of all
products
, like foods, clothes, anywhere in the earth. There is a tendency for
people
to prefer foreign cuisines to local dishes.
Thus
, indigenous
people
may lose their identities. To illustrate,
Bodo
was a community in the North-eastern part of India, and they gave more priorities to food stuffs and attires of Chinese. In no time, entire civilization had dissolved in Chinese culture without giving any prompt.
Hence
, acceptance of all
products
may deter local community to wipe out.

To recapitulate, although the positives of availability of similar
products
all corners of the globe outweigh the negatives, the community
must
be tackled
the consequences
wisely
.
Otherwise
, there is a high chance to
be taken
over by other stronger civilization.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are studying a short course in another country Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider There is a major problem with the accommodation Write a letter to the course provider In your letter Say what the problem is Describe the accommod v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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