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You are a student at an English language school and are living in private accommodation with other students from the school. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Wr v.1

You are a student at an English language school and are living in private accommodation with other students from the school. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Wr v. 1
Road safety has become a great concern for people with the rise of accidents and fatality those accidents cause every day. People have a varying opinion on how to make roads safe and I believe strict laws should be there to punish the driving offenders but a combination of other methods would bring better results. On the one hand, people seem to abide by a law or rule when they know that violation would bring severe retribution. For instance, in some Asian countries pedestrians used to cross the roads and when a more rigid penalty has been imposed, those very people started using the underpass. From this perspective, strict penalty and fine can certainly improve the road safety as people would be more cautious and afraid of the consequence of the violation of the traffic laws. As an outcome, it is a fact that, the sterner the punishment, the greater chances that people would follow the rules. On the other hand, there are already severe punishments for driving offenders, including ceasing the driving license, monetary fines and imprisonments. Despite this, the number of road accidents is increasing every year. This is why I believe that only punishment cannot ensure the road security and safety. A combination of other initiatives is also required. First, we need to aware people about the devastating consequences traffic rule violations can bring to our lives. Second, the requirements for passing the driving test should be standardised and made more practical, especially in developing countries where people can use advantages of the corruption. It is often noticed that many young people are given driving license without scrutinising their experience and skills. This should be completely avoided and after a certain period, each driver should be retested. Third, unfit vehicles should not be allowed to run on the roads as these cars cause more accidents according to the recent Road Transport Authority report. Finally, the traffic system of a country should be modernised and more surveillance cameras and speed test cameras should be there. To conclude, punishment to traffic rule violators is a good way to make the road safer, but the combination of other steps would bring more desired results
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
safety has become a great concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and fatality those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
cause every day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have a varying opinion on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
safe and I believe strict laws should be there to punish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
better results.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to abide by a law or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
when they know that violation would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
severe retribution.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian countries pedestrians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cross the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and when a more rigid penalty has
been imposed
, those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using the underpass. From this perspective, strict penalty and fine can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more cautious and afraid of the consequence of the violation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws. As an outcome, it is a fact that, the sterner the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, the greater chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are already severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders, including ceasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license, monetary fines and imprisonments. Despite this, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is increasing every year. This is why I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
cannot ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
security and safety. A combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
initiatives is
also
required.
First
, we need to aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the devastating consequences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
violations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Second, the requirements for passing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
and made more practical,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advantages of the corruption. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noticed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license without
Possible spelling mistake. 'scrutinising' is British English.
scrutinising
their experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This should be completely avoided and after a certain period, each driver should
be retested
. Third, unfit vehicles should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to run on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
as these cars cause more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
according to the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
Transport Authority report.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system of a country should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
and more surveillance cameras and speed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
cameras should be there.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
violators is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
steps would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more desired results
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are a student at an English language school and are living in private accommodation with other students from the school. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Wr v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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