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You are currently renting an apartment with your family. However, you have been relocated to another city for work. Your rental contracts does not end for another five months which means you need to break the contract early. Write a letter to the landlord v.1

You are currently renting an apartment with your family. However, you have been relocated to another city for work. Your rental contracts does not end for another five months which means you need to break the contract early. Write a letter to the landlord v. 1
IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT THE CONSTANT RISE IN THE USE OF MOBILE PHONES RECENTLY HAS CHANGED THE WAY OF LIFE OF PEOPLE, HOWEVER THIS COMES WITH SOME DEFECTS. IN MY OPINION, THE PROS EXCEED THE CONS OF MOBILLE PHONE UTILIZATION. ADMITTEDLY, THE DRAWBACKS OF THIS OBSESSION WITH MOBILE DEVICES ARE GREAT. IT HAS RUINED A NUMBER OF FAMILIES AND DIVIDED FRIENDSHIPS, BECAUSE PEOPLE SPEND MORE TIME ON THEIR PHONES AND NEGLECT THE IMPORTANT MATTERS. ANOTHER WEAKNESS IS HOW THESE ELECTRONIC DEVICES CAUSE INJURIES AND EVEN DEATH IN SOME CASES. JUST LAST WEEK A FRIEND OF MINE WAS DIAGNOSED OF AND EAR CONDITION AS A RESULT OF HIS EXCESSIVE USE OF HEAD PHONES. IN ADDITION, THE RAT RACE OF ALWAYS TRYING TO PURCHASE THE LATEST DEVICE, HAS LED TO DEPRESSION FOR SOME PEOPLE AND FINANCIAL BANKRUPTCY FOR OTHERS. ON THE OTHER HAND, A NUMBER OF SMALL SCALE BUSINESSE HAS GROWN ON THE WINGS OF MOBILE PHONE TECHNOLOGY. SINCE THE EMERGENCE OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND ONLINE TRADING, MANY PEOPLE NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT RENTING STORES ANYMORE. FOR EXAMPLE, AMAZON DOES NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL STORE BUT IT IS ONE OF THE LARGEST MAARKET IN THE WORLD. ANOTHER GOOD SIDE TO THIS COIN IS HOW EASY IT HAS MADE COMMUNICATION ACROSS THE WORLD. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WAIT FOR WEEKS TO HAVE YOUR LETTERS REPLIED, YOU CAN SEND MESSAGES BACK AND FORTH IN FEW MINUTES. ALSO, IT HAS TREMEDIOUSLY IMPROVED THE EDUCATIONAL SECTOR. VIRTUALLY EVERY INFORMATION YOU NEED ON ANY SUBJECT MATTER CAN BE FOUND USING YOUR MOBILE DEVICE. IN CONCLUSION, WHILE OPINIONS MAY VARY, I BELIEVE THAT THE BENEFITS OF MOBILE PHONES IN VARIOUS AREAS ARE OF GREAT VALUES AND THE WEAKNESSES SHOULD BE MANAGED TO REDUCE CASUALTIES.
IT IS
GENERALLY
BELIEVED THAT THE CONSTANT RISE IN THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
OF MOBILE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONES
RECENTLY HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGED
THE WAY OF LIFE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
,
HOWEVER
THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DEFECTS. IN MY OPINION, THE PROS EXCEED THE CONS OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOBILLE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONE
UTILIZATION.

ADMITTEDLY
, THE DRAWBACKS OF THIS OBSESSION WITH MOBILE DEVICES ARE GREAT. IT HAS RUINED A NUMBER OF FAMILIES AND DIVIDED FRIENDSHIPS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
SPEND MORE TIME ON THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONES
AND NEGLECT THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
MATTERS. ANOTHER WEAKNESS IS HOW THESE ELECTRONIC DEVICES CAUSE INJURIES AND EVEN DEATH IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
CASES.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
LAST WEEK A FRIEND OF MINE
WAS DIAGNOSED
OF AND EAR CONDITION
AS A RESULT
OF HIS EXCESSIVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
OF HEAD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONES
.
IN ADDITION
, THE RAT RACE OF ALWAYS TRYING TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
THE LATEST DEVICE, HAS LED TO DEPRESSION FOR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
AND FINANCIAL BANKRUPTCY FOR OTHERS.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, A NUMBER OF
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SMALL
SCALE
Possible spelling mistake found.
BUSINESSE
HAS GROWN ON THE WINGS OF MOBILE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONE
TECHNOLOGY. SINCE THE EMERGENCE OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND ONLINE TRADING,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT RENTING STORES ANYMORE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, AMAZON DOES NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL STORE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IT IS ONE OF THE LARGEST
Possible spelling mistake found.
MAARKET
IN THE WORLD. ANOTHER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
SIDE TO THIS COIN IS HOW EASY IT HAS MADE COMMUNICATION ACROSS THE WORLD. YOU NO LONGER
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
WAIT FOR WEEKS TO HAVE YOUR LETTERS REPLIED, YOU CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEND
MESSAGES BACK AND FORTH IN FEW MINUTES.
ALSO
, IT HAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
TREMEDIOUSLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVED
THE EDUCATIONAL SECTOR.
VIRTUALLY
EVERY INFORMATION YOU NEED ON ANY
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "SUBJECT".
SUBJECT MATTER
CAN
BE FOUND
USING YOUR MOBILE DEVICE.

IN CONCLUSION
, WHILE OPINIONS MAY VARY, I BELIEVE THAT THE BENEFITS OF MOBILE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PHONES
IN VARIOUS AREAS ARE OF GREAT VALUES AND THE WEAKNESSES SHOULD
BE MANAGED
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCE
CASUALTIES.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are currently renting an apartment with your family. However, you have been relocated to another city for work. Your rental contracts does not end for another five months which means you need to break the contract early. Write a letter to the landlord v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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