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Universities should accept numbers of male and female students in every subject To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Universities should accept numbers of male and female students in every subject v. 1
TV, as a learning tool, is quite useful if children watch the right programs for a certain time in a day as it is the fastest way of communication. While, half of the people think that it is a waste of time. I do believe that this can become a powerful tool for children under the guidance of parent's and teacher's only. This essay will highlight the opinion of people and explain it with a reasoned conclusion. To begin with, though I am no longer a teenager, but still believe that this is beneficial for everyone with some regulations such as using authentic serials, web series and many more through that we can get the correct lesson of life. For example, a teacher is assigned a project and that is advertising daily on the Television so the children could easily take the help from there and complete their project. Moreover, Channels like Discovery, find out Something channels are popular for creative work and innovative and help the children's individual growth. Is broadcasting serials helping for the youngster? The answer is yes, but with some restrictions. On the other hand, People think that TV could waste anyone's future as it telecast vulgar and nonsense chapters, which is not good for the youth generation. They can mimic the bad habits and become violent in many cases. For example, in Indian television some programs famous which is related to crime and the rate of their publication is very high. Meanwhile, these types of lessons will directly affect the children's mentality. In conclusion, as parents and teachers, we must decide the best suitable programs for our kids because they don't know what is correct for them or not. Although, Guide our kids correctly with proper observation help us to get fruitful result in the future. As per my opinion, Everything is good for personal development, but must require proper guidance.
TV, as a learning tool, is quite useful if children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the right programs for a certain time in a day as it is the fastest way of communication.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, half of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a waste of time. I do believe that this can become a powerful tool for children under the guidance of parent's and teacher's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This essay will highlight the opinion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it with a reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, though I am no longer a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
believe that this is beneficial for everyone with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations such as using authentic serials, web series and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more through that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the correct lesson of life.
For example
, a teacher
is assigned
a project and
that is
advertising daily on the Television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the children could
easily
take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from there and complete their project.
Moreover
, Channels like Discovery, find out Something channels are popular for creative work and innovative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the children's individual growth. Is broadcasting serials helping for the youngster? The answer is yes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that TV could waste anyone's future as it telecast vulgar and nonsense chapters, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the youth generation. They can mimic the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and become violent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.
For example
, in Indian television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
which
is related
to crime and the rate of their publication is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. Meanwhile, these types of lessons will
directly
affect the children's mentality.

In conclusion
, as parents and teachers, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
decide the best suitable programs for our kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't know what is correct for them or not.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, Guide our kids
correctly
with proper observation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fruitful result in the future. As per my opinion, Everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for personal development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
require proper guidance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should accept numbers of male and female students in every subject v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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