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you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people are now less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do v.5

you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people are now less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do v. 5
The world is changing continuously, and it is not comparable to the past. Some people believe that because of the rapid transformations, people are less cheerful now. I firmly disagree, and in my opinion, these changes have made lives more convenient and more fun. The main reason I believe people are happier today is that the shifts in every aspect of the world have resulted in more convenience for everyone. The new technologies and great infrastructures in cities such as the availability of electrical power and heat in every house is a magnificent development. For example, my father used to live in Robatkarim, a small city in Iran, in which there was no piping network for gas to houses 50 years ago and his dad and he had to collect wood before cold seasons and warm up their house by the stored wood during the whole winter. Such difficulties are unnecessary now because most cities fulfill these fundamental needs. While the hectic lifestyle in cities caused by the revolutions in the business world, is stressful and exhausting, the availability of recreational facilities nowadays makes the changes in the world more interesting. There are great opportunities for anyone to enjoy holidays or spending a night out to have fun, such as movies, sports complexes, and playgrounds. Speaking from personal experience, back in elementary school when our school teachers wanted to take us to see a film, they had to take us to Tehran, the capital of Iran, because there was no theatre in our city, Karaj, a rather big city next to Tehran. However, now there are three big cinemas in the town and my friends and I go to the movies almost every weekend. Therefore everyone can have enjoyment more leisurely which results in more pleasure in life. To conclude, the world is a better place to live today, and people are more comfortable and have a lot more joy which makes them more content.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is changing
continuously
, and it is not comparable to the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid transformations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less cheerful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I
firmly
disagree, and in my opinion, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more convenient and more fun.

The main reason I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is that the shifts in every aspect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have resulted in more convenience for everyone. The new technologies and great infrastructures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as the availability of electrical power and heat in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is a magnificent development.
For example
, my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Robatkarim
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city in Iran, in which there was no piping network for gas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
50 years ago and his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dad and
he had to collect wood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
seasons and warm up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
by the stored wood during the whole winter. Such difficulties are unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
fulfill these fundamental needs.

While the hectic lifestyle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
caused by the revolutions in the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, is stressful and exhausting, the availability of recreational facilities nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more interesting. There are great opportunities for anyone to enjoy holidays or spending a night out to have fun, such as movies, sports complexes, and playgrounds. Speaking from personal experience, back in elementary school when our school teachers wanted to take us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a film, they had to take us to Tehran, the capital of Iran,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was no
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in our city,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karaj
, a
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city
next
to Tehran.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cinemas in the town and my friends and I go to the movies almost every weekend.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
everyone can have enjoyment more
leisurely
which results in more pleasure in life.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more comfortable and have a lot more joy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more content.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people are now less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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