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Over the past few decades international travel has become more affordable and many people now choose overseas holidays As a result tourism is becoming a profitable industry in many countries However despite the benefits tourism can also create probl v.2

Over the past few decades international travel has become more affordable and many people now choose overseas holidays As a result tourism is becoming a profitable industry in many countries However despite the benefits tourism can also create probl v. 2
An increasing number of people are choosing to travel overseas for their holidays. They are taking advantage of cheaper airfares and as a result, many countries are now profiting from tourism. However, tourism can also create some problems. This essay will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages. One major benefit of tourism is that it can develop an awareness and understanding of other cultures. Tourists can experience a way of life different from their own and when they return home, they often share their knowledge and experiences of these cultures, customs and foods with family and friends. Another advantage of tourism is the income it creates. Large hotels and resorts often employ local people. In addition, small businesses such as cafes and shops sell locally manufactured products such as souvenirs. In this way, the tourist industry can play a major role in providing employment to locals, thus improving a country’s economy. However, the disadvantages of tourism should not be overlooked. One serious risk of international travel is the possibility of spreading dangerous diseases. A foreign tourist who has become infected with a disease may start an epidemic when returning home or travelling to other countries. The HIV virus is one example of a disease that has now become a worldwide epidemic. Another negative aspect of tourism is the increase in the number of locals who steal from tourists. Tourists carrying visible items of value such as cameras, jewellery or cash are particularly at risk and become easy targets. To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and should therefore be encouraged.
An increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to travel overseas for their holidays. They are taking advantage of cheaper airfares and
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
profiting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
also
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages and disadvantages.

One major benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is that it can develop an awareness and understanding of other cultures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
can experience a way of life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and when they return home, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
share their knowledge and experiences of these cultures, customs and foods with family and friends.

Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the income it creates. Large hotels and resorts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
employ local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses such as
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and shops sell
locally
manufactured products such as souvenirs. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry can play a major role in providing employment to locals,
thus
improving a country’s economy.

However
, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should not
be overlooked
. One serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of international travel is the possibility of spreading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases. A foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
who has become infected with a disease may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an epidemic when returning home or travelling to other countries. The
This phrase is redundant ('V' stands for 'virus'). Use simply "HIV".
HIV virus
is one example of a disease that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a worldwide epidemic. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the increase in the number of locals who steal from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
carrying visible items of value such as cameras,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
or cash are
particularly
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and become easy targets.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
clearly
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultural and economic benefits,
yet
also
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
that could threaten health and safety. Despite these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
valuable opportunities to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and should
therefore
be encouraged
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Over the past few decades international travel has become more affordable and many people now choose overseas holidays As a result tourism is becoming a profitable industry in many countries However despite the benefits tourism can also create probl v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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