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Demand of food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes and what measures must be taken by international community to make sure the supply of food is enough for everyone? v.2

Demand of food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes and what measures must be taken by international community to make sure the supply of food is enough for everyone? v. 2
Nature provides human beings with food, shelter, air and water for survival and protection. Over the past decades, the lifestyle of mankind has evolved in various aspects. Developments in building structures, eating habits and changes in clothing have taken place. Seemingly, the demand for food is rising worldwide. In further discussion, the reasons for increasing food demand and its solutions would be highlighted. The main cause for the elevation in food demand is overpopulation. As the population increased, the need for more shelter also raised which has resulted in conversion of agricultural land into residential or industrial land. According to the statistics, the human population has quadrupled since 1980, whereas, the cattle population has halved since then. A decline in farmer figures has also been observed in the current century. The reason being that the new generation is adapting modern lifestyle and luxuries. This is fading away the farming practices today also affecting cattle farming. The cattle, nowadays, are left without shelter which leads them to feed on cultivated land and overgrazing. This phenomenon erodes the nutrients from the soil making the land unsuitable for crop cultivation. Emphasizing on the remedies, the government must encourage the farmers by facilitating them with well suited equipment. The farmers must be provided with loans at low-interest rate. There should be conduction of awareness progrqmmes for farmers to educate about natural manures and proper irrigation system for cultivation. In China, government has introduced policy to monitor the population growth where one family can have not more than one child. Likewise, other countries must also initiate some rules in order to control overpopulation. To conclude, the demand of food can be met when certain amendments in the existing lifestyle are introduced and taken into consideration.
Nature provides human beings with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, shelter, air and water for survival and protection. Over the past decades, the lifestyle of mankind has evolved in various aspects. Developments in building structures, eating habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in clothing have taken place.
Seemingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is rising worldwide. In
further
discussion, the reasons for increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
and its solutions would
be highlighted
.

The main cause for the elevation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
is overpopulation. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increased, the need for more shelter
also
raised which has resulted in conversion of agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
into residential or industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
. According to the statistics, the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has quadrupled since 1980, whereas, the cattle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has halved since then. A decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
figures has
also
been observed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century. The reason being that the new generation is adapting modern lifestyle and luxuries. This is fading away the farming practices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
also
affecting cattle farming. The cattle, nowadays, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without shelter which leads them to feed on cultivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
and overgrazing. This phenomenon erodes the nutrients from the soil making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
unsuitable for crop cultivation.

Emphasizing on the remedies, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
by facilitating them with well suited equipment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
with loans at low-interest rate. There should be conduction of awareness
Possible spelling mistake found.
progrqmmes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to educate about natural manures and proper irrigation system for cultivation. In China,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has introduced policy to monitor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth where one family can have not more than one child.
Likewise
, other countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
initiate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in order to control overpopulation.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be met
when certain amendments in the existing lifestyle
are introduced
and taken into consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Demand of food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes and what measures must be taken by international community to make sure the supply of food is enough for everyone? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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