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Some people believe that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit culture and tourist attraction in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.2

Some people believe that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit culture and tourist attraction in a country. v. 2
It is a commonly held belief among most of the people that visitors from overseas should be charged more than the native residents when they visit tourist sites in another nation. I, hereby, do not accord with the statement and would scrutinize my viewpoint in the forthcoming discussion. Tourism is a rapidly growing industry today where historical monuments serve as the bedrock for tourist attraction. Notably, the high prices paid by foreign tourists along with the taxes imposed on the local residents contribute to the state subsidies which is further invested in the maintenance of monuments and other tourist places. Since the locals already pay taxes for the well-being of the tourist sites hence, the foreigners should not be heavily charged for their excursion. As people like to discover and explore different nations and their rich heritage thus, disparity in prices on the basis of nationality might cause sense of discrimination among the visitors. If taken on a large scale, this may lead to bitterness in the cordial relationship between nations which would affect the tourism by reduction in population of overseas visitors. Moreover, the after effects would not only be limited to the curtailment in tourism but would also affect the funds collected for the development of tourist attractions. Therefore, to combat this issue the government should provide a harmonious environment for the foreign visitors by levelling their ticket fares with the local residents so as to maintain equality. For instance, in Europe majority of the tourist sites offer equal charges for visitors regardless of their nationality which is an asset to their tourism industry and attracts more public. In conclusion, the preservation of heritage through historical buildings and growth in tourism are mutually reinforcing factors. Therefore, more effort should be made to attract more foreign tourists to boost the economic growth rather than making them pay more than local residents.
It is a
commonly
held belief among most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from overseas should
be charged
more than the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
when they visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
sites in another nation. I, hereby, do not accord with the statement and would scrutinize my viewpoint in the forthcoming discussion.

Tourism is a
rapidly
growing industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
where historical monuments serve as the bedrock for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction.
Notably
, the high prices paid by foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
along with the taxes imposed on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
contribute to the state subsidies which is
further
invested in the maintenance of monuments and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
places. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
already pay taxes for the well-being of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
sites
hence
, the foreigners should not be
heavily
charged for their excursion. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to discover and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations and their rich heritage
thus
, disparity in prices on the basis of nationality might cause sense of discrimination among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. If taken on a large scale, this may lead to bitterness in the cordial relationship between nations which would affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by reduction in population of overseas visitors.

Moreover
, the after effects would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be limited
to the curtailment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would
also
affect the funds collected for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions.
Therefore
, to combat this issue the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide a harmonious environment for the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by levelling their ticket fares with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
maintain equality.
For instance
, in Europe majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
sites offer equal charges for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
regardless of their nationality which is an asset to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry and attracts more public.

In conclusion
, the preservation of heritage through historical buildings and growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are
mutually
reinforcing factors.
Therefore
, more effort should
be made
to attract more foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to boost the economic growth
rather
than making them pay more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit culture and tourist attraction in a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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