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Writing Topic 2- Shops should give preference in selling local food rather than imported food. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Writing Topic 2- Shops should give preference in selling local food rather than imported food. v. 1
It if often thought that stores should provide their own local consumptions instead of products from other countries. In my point of view, I totally disagree with this because of the fact that it will be less advantageous for the local people. First of all, the community won't be able to taste different food types from over the world. The reason for this is that not everything is produced in the same place or country. This is because, every place got their own thing in their culture to be popular with. On top of that, the climate is also different, which can have a huge impacts on the taste of the product. For example, a lot of imported oranges come from Spain, where the weather is nice and warm. However, if those products were planted in our country, then it probably wouldn't be the same like the original ones. All in all, not all the products can be produced in one country. On the second hand, the variation of the food will decrease. The reason for this is that without the import of foreign nutriments people will have a small choice of products. On top of that, this will be too predictable and there won't be any choice to try something new. Moreover, people do like to explore brand new meals, to bring some variation in the food. So that's why it is better to have the transport between the states. To conclude, stores should give preference in selling local food rather than imported food. In my opinion, I totally disagree because not all the food is manufactured in one place and the food variety will show a downward trend.
It if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that stores should provide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from other countries. In my point of view, I
totally
disagree with this
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
it will be less advantageous for the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the community won't be able to taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
types from over the world.
The reason for this is
that not everything
is produced
in the same place or country. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, every place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thing in their culture to be popular with.
On top of that
, the climate is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, which can have a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "impact"?
impacts
on the taste of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
imported oranges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from Spain, where the weather is nice and warm.
However
, if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were planted
in our country, then it
probably
wouldn't be the same
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
the original ones. All in all, not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be produced
in one country.

On the second hand, the variation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will decrease.
The reason for this is
that without the import of foreign nutriments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
On top of that
, this will be too predictable and there won't be any choice to try something new.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do like to explore
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
meals, to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why it is better to have the transport between the states.

To conclude
, stores should give preference in selling local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is manufactured
in one place and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
variety will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a downward trend.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing Topic 2- Shops should give preference in selling local food rather than imported food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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