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write about the following topic: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are benefits of travelling for the travelers? Write at least 250 words v.2

: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are benefits of travelling for the travelers? v. 2
There is no harm in saying that given topic has grabbed attention owing to its uniqueness. Technology has emerged drastically and due to that our modes of accommodation, eating habits and travelling has been evolved as well. In running days, it is pretty convenient to travel across the globe as technology has made limit distances. These days, people prefer to travel and explore other parts of the world more as compared to the people of half century ago. The evident factor is the ease of transportation and other important factor is the awareness through internet. To elucidate further, nowadays, people explore the places over the internet, search around the area and plan travelling. One important element here that should not be overlooked is the travelling information channels like NAT GEO Explore etc. These channels provide in depth information to audience about the possible places they can visit. These sorts of documentaries urge people to explore and experience these beautiful places themselves. There are enormous benefits a person can enjoy due to travelling, first and foremost is the human interaction. People get to meet other people with different cultures and lifestyles. Tourist not only enjoys beautiful scenic view but also get to know about history of such areas. Travelling activity certainly provides tourists a platform to share their culture, language, lifestyle with other people having different attributes; expanding their social circles. Explore potential career possibilities is another prominent advantage. To recapitulate, it is quite important to spare time and explore the world as it will not only boost our energy but also gives us the medium to compare ourselves with other’s life and realize the blessing of life we enjoy that majority people are deprived of.
There is no harm in saying that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic has grabbed attention owing to its uniqueness. Technology has emerged
drastically
and due to that our modes of accommodation, eating habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has
been evolved
as well
. In running days, it is pretty convenient to travel across the globe as technology has made limit distances. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to travel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of half century ago. The evident factor is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of transportation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is the awareness through internet.

To elucidate
further
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
the places over the internet, search around the area and plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element here that should not
be overlooked
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
information channels like NAT GEO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Explore
etc. These channels provide in depth information to audience about the possible places they can visit. These sorts of documentaries urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
and experience these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
places themselves.

There are enormous benefits a person can enjoy due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
,
first
and foremost is the human interaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and lifestyles. Tourist not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enjoys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenic view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about history of such areas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
activity
certainly
provides tourists a platform to share their culture, language, lifestyle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attributes; expanding their social circles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Explore
potential career possibilities is another prominent advantage.

To recapitulate, it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spare time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
the world as it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boost our energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives us the medium to compare ourselves with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
life and realize the blessing of life we enjoy that majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deprived
of.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay : Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are benefits of travelling for the travelers? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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