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today more people are travelling than ever before. what this is the case? What are the benefits of travelling for travelers? v.12

today more people are travelling than ever before. what this is the case? What are the benefits of travelling for travelers? v. 12
Nowadays, people prefer to spend their time on moving instead of allocating it to other things. The stats which travel agencies emanate annually revealed that the rate of travelling has increased sharply over the last decade. There seems to be reason behind that which I am going to address in the following paragraphs. I am inclined to put forward some arguments that the revolution of technology makes travel much easier than before. To clarify the point, an example, seems necessary. Our ancestors used to travel with animals such as horse, camel, and so on, although in these days people use vehicles with lots of convenient option, for instance, new trains are equipped with seats, which has massage on it, or by the invention of the airplane, individuals can reach to remote destinations in a small blink. This new cutting edge instruments oblige travels to be more delightful that before. Individuals choose to move as a cure for their mental problems. Nowadays, everybody endures tough situation and tolerate pressure derived from economic issues an urbanization. In order to overcome those kind of problem the easiest way is to travel to a tranquil beach with stunning views which help anyone to be refreshed again and reorganized one’s mind. Additionally, there is some evidence that moving to new places let people to learn new cultures and new traditions. Many scientists argue that contacting with other people and evolving with new culture completely help individuals to satisfy their spiritual needs. In conclusion, this essay is an attempt to address the reasons behind the growth in people travelling rate and to clearly reveal that how people gain more benefit from travelling in many aspects.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend their time on moving
instead
of allocating it to other things. The stats which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies emanate
annually
revealed that the rate of travelling has increased
sharply
over the last decade. There seems to be reason behind that which I am going to address in the following paragraphs.

I
am inclined
to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments that the revolution of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. To clarify the point, an example, seems necessary. Our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with animals such as horse, camel, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, although in these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vehicles with lots of convenient option,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trains
are equipped
with seats, which has massage on it, or by the invention of the airplane, individuals can reach to remote destinations in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
blink. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cutting edge instruments oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
to be more delightful that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Individuals choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
as a cure for their mental problems. Nowadays, everybody endures tough situation and tolerate pressure derived from economic issues an urbanization. In order to overcome
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of problem the easiest way is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to a tranquil beach with stunning views which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
anyone to
be refreshed
again and reorganized one’s mind.
Additionally
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence that moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists argue that contacting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and evolving with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to satisfy their spiritual needs.

In conclusion
, this essay is an attempt to address the reasons behind the growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling rate and to
clearly
reveal that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain more benefit from travelling in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay today more people are travelling than ever before. what this is the case? What are the benefits of travelling for travelers? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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