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Write about the following topic: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v.3

: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 3
It is irrefutable, there are plethora of people who are really using television to get more knowledge and they can easily get the news what is happening around in the world. However, some people are encountering that there are some disadvantages, while look TV consistently. Here I will discuss about the advantages and we will encounter the problems by using television. To begin with, In this modern era, technology has improved lot and people are getting more expectation to watch tv programmes, generally, mathematical, science and quiz competition programmes which are highlighted and increasing total count day by day for this programmes. In addition to this, national geographic channel whose most number of people watching this channel to understand about wild animals life. Also, some channels that we can look around brain games, people are getting mesmerised about this programs on TV. For Instance, In India, TV channels only earning 12% margin increasing every year this will indicate that how people are utilising television. On the other side, above mentioned advantages outweighed by some disadvantages, people are getting addicted to some of the serials. Media persons has to increase the TRP rate to get survey in current market, in order to this, they are always showing some unimaginably programmes. Also, they are highlighting some crimes programs because of that youth persons try to involve some crime as a result juvenile persons increasing day by day. Nowadays, homo sapiens are liking heroism in order to watch movies on television and they are trying to apply on their real life and finally, they are encountering a plethora of issues on their life. To conclude this, there are good programmes are available and parents responsibilities to allow their children and adults to watch only good programmes. Also, government responsibilities to be band whoever television is showing crimes and unimaginable fictions.
It is irrefutable, there are plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
really
using television to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the news what is happening around in the world.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encountering that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, while
Did you mean "watch"?
look
TV
consistently
. Here I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advantages and
we will encounter the problems by using television.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, In this modern era, technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lot and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more expectation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
generally
, mathematical, science and quiz competition
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which
are highlighted
and increasing total count day by day for
Did you mean "these"?
this
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
In addition
to this, national geographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
whose most number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
to understand about wild
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "animals'" or "animal's"?
animals
life.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
that we can look around brain games,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
Possible spelling mistake. 'mesmerised' is British English.
mesmerised
about
Did you mean "these"?
this
programs on TV.
For Instance
, In India, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earning 12% margin increasing every year this will indicate that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
television.

On the other side, above mentioned advantages outweighed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting addicted to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
serials. Media persons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
increase the TRP rate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
survey in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market, in order to this, they are always showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unimaginably
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Also
, they are highlighting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crimes programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that youth persons try to involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crime
as a result
juvenile persons increasing day by day. Nowadays, homo sapiens
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are liking
heroism in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
television and
they are trying to apply on their real life and
finally
, they are encountering a plethora of issues on their life.

To conclude
this, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are available and parents responsibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children and adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibilities to be
Consider using a past participle here: "banded".
band
whoever television is showing crimes and unimaginable fictions.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay : •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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