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Write about the following topic: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v.2

: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 2
Nowadays, It is clear that more and more people are migrating to urban areas for education and the better life. This mass migration has caused, one of the biggest problems of society in the form of overpopulation. This problem is becoming worse and worse, particularly in the Asian countries. This essay will look at some of the problems of this and propose some solutions. One of the main issues of overpopulation is an increase in the prices of everyday needs and housing. Due to less availability of land in urban areas the housing prices are growing rapidly. For example, In the city of Mumbai, the price of a double bedroom apartment has reached 10 million and it is expected to grow more in the coming decade. To tackle this problem, the governments should encourage companies to set up their bases in nearby suburbs or outskirts. This allows people to live outside the urban areas. The second issue of this is urban pollution and health issues. Due to the growth in construction sector there are very high chances of dust pollution resulting in lung diseases and because of poor drainage facilities, cities often get flooded with rain water causing diseases like malaria. For example, over the past decade the pollution released from the city of Delhi got doubled causing problems. Dealing with this involves involves governments by cracking illegal constructions and developing effective drain facilities. People also should be encouraged to move out of overpopulated cities to nearby suburbs by ensuring good transportation facilities. To sum up, there is no doubt that overpopulation is becoming a serious issue in bigger cities. Unless people look for nearby towns to live, this issue would not be solved. Campaigns should be done about the problems of more population. In my view, although it is the responsibility of the governments to provide better living conditions, people should also be aware of the problems and should look for new living options.
Nowadays, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas for education and the better life. This mass migration has caused, one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of society in the form of overpopulation. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is becoming worse and worse,
particularly
in the Asian countries.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
essay will look at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of this and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of overpopulation is an increase in the prices of everyday needs and housing. Due to less availability of land in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas the housing prices are growing
rapidly
.
For example
, In the city of Mumbai, the price of a double bedroom apartment has reached 10 million and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to grow more in the coming decade. To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to set up their bases in nearby suburbs or outskirts. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
pollution and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Due to the growth in construction sector there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high chances of dust pollution resulting in lung diseases and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor drainage facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
flooded with rain water causing diseases like malaria.
For example
, over the past decade the pollution released from the city of Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
doubled causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Dealing with this
Possible typo: you repeated a word
involves involves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
by cracking illegal constructions and developing effective drain facilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of overpopulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to nearby suburbs by ensuring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
transportation facilities.

To sum up, there is no doubt that overpopulation is becoming a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for nearby towns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
would not
be solved
. Campaigns should
be done
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of more population. In my view, although it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to provide better living conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
be aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and should look for new living options.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay : •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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