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Write about the following topic: In some countries, people prefer to rent a house for accommodation, while in other countries people prefer to buy their own house. Does renting a house have more advantages or disadvantages than buying a house? Give reasons v.2

: In some countries, people prefer to rent a house for accommodation, while in other countries people prefer to buy their own house. Does renting a house have more advantages or disadvantages than buying a house? Give reasons v. 2
House is the starting place of love hope and dreams. There is an ideological verbalisation that “the magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave; it feels even better to come back”. Although renting a house does not bring any monetary benefits to the tenants but only generates monthly income for the landlord, purchasing a house helps to bring a sense of security and pride. In my opinion, the advantages of purchasing a house far outweighs the disadvantages of renting an accommodation. Owning a home offers a long-term benefit of security, equity and potential growth of personal wealth that is enjoyed by the occupant. The value of the home will appreciate and if one decides to sell, they can earn the profit of sale. Moreover, being a Homeowner allows creative control on their property. They can alter the décor changes, landscaping and renovations, according to their needs and style. They can also generate additional monthly income by renting their own property. To illustrate, purchasing a place of residence neither allow the interference from anyone nor there is any sudden notice of evacuation. On the contrary, renting a property does not offer any wealth creation or return on investment as the property does not belong to the tenant instead, it creates a burden on occupant to pay monthly rent to the landlord. Additionally, the lessee cannot renovate the property according to his desires and even has to follow all the rule and regulations that the owner has stated in the rent agreement. To elucidate, many flat owners do not allow the entry of pets into their property which creates an issue those having pets. To conclude, I vehemently agree that purchasing an accommodation gives the opportunity of freedom, safety and monetary compensation to the homeowners than renting a place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
House
is the starting place of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
hope and dreams. There is an ideological
Possible spelling mistake. 'verbalisation' is British English.
verbalisation
that “the magic thing about home is that it feels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
; it feels even better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back”. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
does not bring any monetary benefits to the tenants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generates monthly income for the landlord, purchasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to bring a sense of security and pride. In my opinion, the advantages of purchasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
far outweighs the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
.

Owning a home offers a long-term benefit of security, equity and potential growth of personal wealth that
is enjoyed
by the occupant. The value of the home will appreciate and if one decides to sell, they can earn the profit of sale.
Moreover
, being a Homeowner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
creative control on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
. They can alter the
Possible spelling mistake found.
décor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, landscaping and renovations, according to their needs and style. They can
also
generate additional monthly income by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
. To illustrate, purchasing a place of residence neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the interference from anyone nor there is any sudden notice of evacuation.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
does not offer any wealth creation or return on investment as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
does not belong to the tenant
instead
, it creates a burden on occupant to pay monthly rent to the landlord.
Additionally
, the lessee cannot renovate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
according to his desires and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and regulations that the owner has stated in the rent agreement. To elucidate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
flat owners do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the entry of pets into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
which creates an issue those having pets.

To conclude
, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that purchasing
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
gives the opportunity of freedom, safety and monetary compensation to the homeowners than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a place.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay : In some countries, people prefer to rent a house for accommodation, while in other countries people prefer to buy their own house. Does renting a house have more advantages or disadvantages than buying a house? Give reasons v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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